“Sam, you did notice Shane?”  Dana asked, Sam turned and looked at her, seeing her pressing up against Eden.

            “Uh huh.”  She popped a pretzel into her mouth, and drank some more.  She already felt light headed; remembering that the last time she’d eaten was 10 hours before.  She was going to pay for this in the morning.

            “We can go dance on the bar?”  Tina offered and Bette gave her a steely gaze, one time had been enough for her.

            “You can come with us babe.”  Tina added, and Sam shook her head.

            “This is the deal; she does who she wants, as long as she doesn’t hide it.”  Sam said, still not sure this is what she wanted, but it was what Shane wanted, that much was obvious.

            “Are you crazy?”  Jayden asked, and then she blushed, thinking it wasn’t her place to say anything about relationships.  Alice said nothing because she already know about Sam and CJ’s previous arraignments. 

            “No.  Well, not in the technical sense of the word.  I like to think I’ve lost my mind… Wait.”  She stopped and they all stared at her, she snapped her fingers.  “I never had it.  Darn it.”  Tina grunted and Bette laughed, tossing her head back.

            “That’s just, wrong.”  Jayden said, and then vowed to stop talking.

            “Jay, I hate to break it to you, but C.J. and I had the same arrangement.  It was her idea in fact.  I’m going to the bathroom.”  She stood and Alice followed her.

            Jayden sat back, and Alice asked her to dance, she said yes.  Wanting to forget what Sam had just said, so she lost herself in the music instead.

            “Well that is fucked up.”  Voiced Dana, grabbing some pretzels and munching on them.

            “If it works for them, who are we to judge?”  Jenny said softly, she’d dated a guy and a girl at the same time and they’d known about each other. It had worked, for a while.

            “What about love?”  Bette asked, taking Tina‘s hand and squeezing it.

*****

            “You are going to let her sleep with that Eden woman?  You are dead set on this plan of action?” Alice asked, following Sam into the bathroom.  Sam stopped at the stall door.

            “Al, you can’t come in here with me.  I’m a big girl, I can find all the equipment, I was born with it.”  Sam slammed the door and sat on the toilet, and Alice waited.  “Are you going to stand out there?”  Alice grunted and said with a rough voice.

            “***** yes.”  Sam sighed, rubbing her eyes, tussling her hair.

            “Go, I’m fine.  Alice, please?”  Sam begged, needing a few minutes to adjust to seeing Shane with that other woman.

            “Did C.J. ever tell you about me….?”  Alice said in a soft sheepish voice of a child.  That’s what this was all about Sam thought.  Alice, it’s the past, thought Sam.

            “Al she told me before she slept with you about you if that is what you mean.”  Alice closed her eyes and groaned loudly again.

            “You knew, all this time.  You never said anything.”  Sam got up and opened the door, feeling her head floating on her shoulders.

            “It was *****.  C.J. and I had something more than that.”  Sam explained. 

            “Did she tell you that I was in love with her?”  Sam looked at Alice, Sam nodded yes.

            “I asked her to break up with you and to come be with me…  The day we graduated, the day you finished med school and started your residency.”  Sam leaned against the wall, breathing slowly and taking in what Alice said.

            “I know.”  Sam said and Alice wiped away a tear, and took a deep breath.

            “Well, if you let Shane run around, she’s going to find herself an Alice and she might not make the right choice Sam.”  Sam looked down to the floor, studying the black and white tiles of the floor.

            “It’s too late, she’s made her choice and I’m going to have to trust her with that choice now.”