It drove Tina to insanity.

The blonde woman leapt, in a fit of rage, upon the hammock.  It spun around, once, twice…

Seventeen times.

“There!” Tina(s) said in unison.  “Now we can spread the love!”

“Does this make us monogamous?” 17 Bette’s asked.

17 Tina’s replied with a resounding,

“YES!”

“Dammit…” Tina(s) heard a mutter.  They let out a mighty roar:

“CANDACE!!!!”

Meanwhile…

Somewhere in France, or perhaps Italy, but definitely not Germany, or at least they thought not, Helena and Bette lay in a field of daffodils…or tulips perhaps…definitely flowers of some kind. 

They were naked.

And about to make love.

Helena ran the petal of one such flower along Bette’s torso, then up her chest, to her neck and chin and lips…

“Ahhhhhchooo!” Bette sniffled. Her eyes became immediately reddened from the pollen coating the flower. “Wud id dat?” She asked with a wheeze.

Helena sighed and lay back, fully naked, wet, ready and amorous, while her girlfriend coughed up a lung.

Back in the USS…errr…US of A…

The sun was setting on another beautiful day in Vancouver.  Returning from an evening yoga class, Rachel Shelley, Jennifer Beals and Laurel H., were walking and discussing fan fiction, for the millionth time.  Their relaxing dinner at an elite sushi bar had been interrupted when somebody insisted on shouting “Belena rules!” at them, only to be beaten to a pulp by two people who preferred Tibette. Police were called, ambulances were sent for, and the actresses were kept behind as witnesses to the massacre. From then on, it was known as ‘Massacre at Now Generation Sushi Bar’, though in reality, nobody died.  The three women involved in the altercation ended up sharing pitchers of beer at a sports bar for the rest of the night.  Rumor even had it, that the same women ended up in an orgy, a week later, with other Belena and Tibette shippers. 

But as Jennifer, Laurel and Rachel walked, on this night, their minds turned to another concern.

“Why must they use our images for such explicit literature?” Rachel Shelley was a little bit skeptical. “Even my character doesn’t perform half of the acts on the show as she does in fan fiction…I mean, what is that thing called, you know…”