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The L Word Series Finale: Clones Have Feelings Tooooooooo
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“What’s wrong?” Asked the clone. “I’m human you know, it just so happens that I’m a clone. I’m not like the Jennybots you know.” The Bette clone had started to cry, and the other two drifted into the room to see what was wrong.
“I’m sorry, its just…this is really hard for me.” Tina whined. “We don’t bicker, we have lots of fantastic sex without any argument about positions and the politics of this toy versus that toy, or how we really should climax at the same time for the sake of promoting egalitarianism….you cook for me, you clean the house…”
“Aren’t you happy with a functional relationship?” Bette #3 asked. “From the sounds of it, you and the original Bette had a lousy time together.”
“Well, not in the beginning…” Tina mused. “Say…”
Bette #2 nodded curious, waiting for the question.
“Do you mind if I sleep around?” Tina’s seemingly shocking question was met with three shrugs.
“We don’t mind. We’re not raised to be jealous and possessive, and besides, you already are sleeping around…there are three of us.” Bette #1 smiled through her tears and was happily invited back into Tina’s embrace while the blonde woman snuggled her and apologized for being mean.
“There are three of you.” Tina smiled again, drawing circles on Bette’s back with her fingertips. “I suppose I should just make the most of it.”
“Yeah, quit your complaining.” Bette growled. She grasped Tina around her ankles and pulled her roughly until she was on all fours, prone and helpless beneath the attention of three gorgeous Bettes.
Meanwhile…
A macabre scene unfolded in a warehouse on the edge of town.
A single, bare lightbulb, swayed on the ceiling.
Shane, Dana, Lara and Alice were tied to chairs, and gagged. In front of them, two women sat at a table, while a series of Jenny guards lounged against the back wall.
“huhhhhhhhhHHHHHH!” Alice grunted. She tried to avert her eyes, as the script reading for Jenny continued in its horrifying rough format.
Jenny (the original) sat across from a kidnapped Ilene clone, while the original Ilene sat somewhere in Vancouver on a skiing vacation (couldn’t somebody think of a BETTER location than VANCOUVER?) and she was clueless that this was occurring without her consent and sign off. In a few days, she would come screaming into town, once again waving contracts and debating copyright. But for now, the script was read by the mad and diabolical creation of her own mind, while her clone echoed the words on the page:
“Jenny Jenny Jenny…Jenny…Jenny…”
“Jenny Jenny Jenny Jenny!”
“Jenny?”
“Jenny Jen….n….y.”
Dana, Shane, Alice and Lara shrieked in horror, their eyes bulging, as Jenny (the original) laughed and laughed and laughed, an evil laugh.
Meanwhile…
Marina and Carmen were working late. Now co-workers in an office that specialized in all of one’s filing needs, they decided to clock some overtime hours…together, of course.
“baby…huhhhhhhh…” Carmen wrapped her legs around the taller woman’s waist, as Marina thrust three fingers in and out of her warmth. The office smelled like sex and sweat and the chemicals from bleached paper. They had been at it for hours, once the office officially closed.
Their skirts were hiked around their waists, and neither woman had bothered to wear pants, preferring only stockings and suspenders (which were also known as pantyhose, garters or lingerie, or, in Canada known as slutty slutty office wear). “Cumming…” Marina groaned as she grinded against Carmen’s thigh. Carmen nodded wordlessly before shaking and clasping Marina’s broad shoulders, her own orgasm tearing through her.
“Ah shit!” Behind Carmen, a pile of files fell between the wall and the heavy metal cabinet upon which they were fucking.
“S’ok baby, I’ll get that.” Carmen said breathlessly. She searched for the thingy that she needed, to lift the metal cabinet thingy, and carry it away.
When the pile of files were revealed, something altogether new was also revealed.
“It looks like a tiny door.” Marina mused aloud. They cleared away dust and cobwebs, then pulled the door open.
“I’ll go check it out.” Though she was the shorter of the two, Carmen always did the brave ‘butch’ stuff, which made Martina feel kinda giddy and giggly and usually horny.
“Be careful baby.” Marina patted the smaller woman’s butt as she crawled through the tiny door.
A second passed.
Then, with a whoosh and a thud, Carmen was sucked down the tunnel and the door slammed.
“NOOOOOOOOOOO!” Marina screamed.
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Ooooh, does this RANDOM person get to be first? Sofa does not have to fear, I would never run away with Rachel. My heart is with Bette, the real one, none of her clones, ick! It is too funny that I am going to miss Helena so much, when I hated her at first. She has to come back and be with Bette…Bette hasn’t ever given that “come hither…NOW” look, that smile, to anyone but Helena! Can I throw in that I don’t mind about the faux punk if you leave out the toys? Ha! A raise of 26.50, EACH, and they didn’t TAKE it?? Who in their right minds would walk away from that? Well, of course they weren’t, they were besieged by Jenny and Ilene clones. OH the horror!!! Good thing there was no Tina there, real or cloned, or it would have been too horrible to bear!
HB-I began giggling before I opened it. How pathetic is that!..So many lines had me cracking up…As for Helena I loved her at the first shot at the ankle and the moans in the background. The lick of the lips before the took her shrink sealed the deal… Yeah she was kind of crazy at times but when you are excruatingly fuckin’ gorgeous you are entitled to be crazy…(Captain Squirl’s rules) I don’t know if she’s gone for good but she has left a sexy legacy…For Sure!!! Yes Su2K-Bette did give our girl a come hither look!!
Awesome crazy story, looking fwd to the next chapter.
Since you promised a recall, I won’t fret about Jenny (“Something Wicked This Way Comes”) Schecter and her fiendish clones inheriting the earth. Can Tina find happiness in a functional relationship? Excellent question. But for now I’m more intrigued by the mysterious “damned egg” that haunted the English Muffin’s preteen years. I’d love to know the backstory on that one.
I’ll take a pass on having a Jennybot, no offense, I knew enough Jenny’s in college and I haven’t quite recovered. ; ) Thanks for another whackisode of clonedom.
English muffin. Nackered knickers. Hehe! The clones are not unlike zombies, the pre-snuggle Bette was quite the dog, if not a werewolf. I suspect the reading of the Jenny script alone is all you need to gag people. I want to hear more about what constitutes slutty slutty Canadian office wear. Where did that Carmen go? Your mind clearly works in strange ways HB, yet is most nimble.
Do you have to be a slutty, slutty Canadian to get the jokes? Cos I’m not and I don’t!
naw, you don’t su..i was just making light of the debate between americans and brits with regards to hottie undergarments. i thought ‘hey, what DO canadians call that stuff?’ and then i made it up. mehemehemehemehe
I nearly choked on my gum while I was reading… heheh loved it!!! Carmen and marina? =O I didn’t see it coming… Very unexpected…. PPS!!!!!
It is kind of funny that they call undies “pants” when pants ARE worn on the outside, and knickers always remind me of the short, buckled at the knee pants boys wore back in the day…I daresay that would definitely ruin the look of a sexy dress. No wonder confusion reigns!! haha
I hope Carmen and Marina (nice touch, that) get to the bottom of it all, and disable the source of the Jennybots. Although… they might not make it back alive. Where do they go, once it’s time to exit the portal? I hope they don’t get dumped at the side of the road, like their characters were… hum, things to ponder. And how many Bettes are there? One’s gone to do Jenny, three are doing Tina, and the real one’s getting done by Hels… It’s not enough… there needs to be at least 25 to take down IC and her karaoke bot chorus? This was hilarious (I love that slutty slutty office wear) and I want more… post when you can hb, cheers!
hey helebette… that was brilliant… haha… that was so freaking off the wall… ballz out brilliant… boy does your mind work in amazingly complex and divergent ways… you are awesome… haha knickers… knackers… as for Canadians I think we do things right… why wear them at all… its not that cold and if you are cold well find someone to keep you warm… thats all… Sincerely, JC
funnyone, you got all my jokes! wohoo! lol, slutty slutty canadians
you idiot! i can’t even read it!!!I’m laughing 2 much. Lmao!!!!