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    The L Word Series Finale: Clones Have Feelings Tooooooooo

    Story written on January 27, 2008 by helebette.
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    3 votes, average: 2.00 out of 53 votes, average: 2.00 out of 53 votes, average: 2.00 out of 53 votes, average: 2.00 out of 53 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
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    Genre(s):
    Rating:
    fanfiction(s):
    Character(s): , ,
    Number of Comments: 14
    Words: 3599
    Story Shortlink: https://www.assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=68407
    Author Notes:

    pure silliness…more clones, more bettes than you can shake a stick at, and marina and carmen make comebacks together in norty fashion

    This looks like a job for me

    So everybody just follow me

    Cuz we need a little

    Controversy

    Cuz it feels so empty without me

    Na nanana yaya lalalala lalalala

    Meah nahahanalalalalalala

     

     

     

     

    “Bette…” a voice hissed in the darkness.

     

    “sshhhhh..” Bette hissed back.

     

    “Psst.” Another woman, one who looked suspiciously like…

     

    “Hey!” Bette screeched as she came face to face with an identical replica of herself. A hand quickly muffled her voice, and Helena whispered in her ear,

     

    “Hush darling,  Ilene will hear us.” The British bombshell aka English muffin looked appraisingly at Bette’s clone.

     

    Bette Porter and Helena Peabody were in hiding.  Their original selves had taken refuge in a small cottage, somewhere in the world, in a long stretch of deserted country.  They hid themselves, sensing the oncoming dangers of bad writing, an executive producer who refused to let them have sex (for five FUCKING years! Helena had often lamented, just before leaping lustfully upon her partner’s naked bod), not to mention the onset of a tv series entitled Jenny, which to them, resembled something akin to the plague.

     

    “How did you get in here?” Bette glared at her replica.

     

    “She let me in.” The frightened looking clone pointed at Helena, who looked rather sheepish.

     

    “Thought she was you…” Helena shrugged. “especially when she tried to take me roughly in the barn…”

     

    “Ew. Smelly barn.” Bette harrumphed and sat down heavily at the kitchen table. “We have to board up the barn doors anyway…she can stay, but only if she helps me.” She and her clone decided to board up the windows finally, sensing that something wicked this way came.

     

    Helena hummed while she cooked.  A pot of sauce simmered on the stove, and a fire allowed their wood stove to bake rustic loaves of bread. She glanced over her shoulder as Bette and Bette carried doors taken from the upstairs of the farm house.  “What are you doing?” She asked politely.  The sweat covered women grunted in reply, before beginning to hammer the doors over the windows. “Oh dear…” Helena muttered. “We’re going to go stir crazy if we do that.”

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    Comments

    1. Ooooh, does this RANDOM person get to be first? Sofa does not have to fear, I would never run away with Rachel. My heart is with Bette, the real one, none of her clones, ick! It is too funny that I am going to miss Helena so much, when I hated her at first. She has to come back and be with Bette…Bette hasn’t ever given that “come hither…NOW” look, that smile, to anyone but Helena! Can I throw in that I don’t mind about the faux punk if you leave out the toys? Ha! A raise of 26.50, EACH, and they didn’t TAKE it?? Who in their right minds would walk away from that? Well, of course they weren’t, they were besieged by Jenny and Ilene clones. OH the horror!!! Good thing there was no Tina there, real or cloned, or it would have been too horrible to bear!

    2. HB-I began giggling before I opened it. How pathetic is that!..So many lines had me cracking up…As for Helena I loved her at the first shot at the ankle and the moans in the background. The lick of the lips before the took her shrink sealed the deal… Yeah she was kind of crazy at times but when you are excruatingly fuckin’ gorgeous you are entitled to be crazy…(Captain Squirl’s rules) I don’t know if she’s gone for good but she has left a sexy legacy…For Sure!!! Yes Su2K-Bette did give our girl a come hither look!!

    4. Since you promised a recall, I won’t fret about Jenny (“Something Wicked This Way Comes”) Schecter and her fiendish clones inheriting the earth. Can Tina find happiness in a functional relationship? Excellent question. But for now I’m more intrigued by the mysterious “damned egg” that haunted the English Muffin’s preteen years. I’d love to know the backstory on that one.

    5. I’ll take a pass on having a Jennybot, no offense, I knew enough Jenny’s in college and I haven’t quite recovered. ; ) Thanks for another whackisode of clonedom.

    6. English muffin. Nackered knickers. Hehe! The clones are not unlike zombies, the pre-snuggle Bette was quite the dog, if not a werewolf. I suspect the reading of the Jenny script alone is all you need to gag people. I want to hear more about what constitutes slutty slutty Canadian office wear. Where did that Carmen go? Your mind clearly works in strange ways HB, yet is most nimble.

    8. naw, you don’t su..i was just making light of the debate between americans and brits with regards to hottie undergarments. i thought ‘hey, what DO canadians call that stuff?’ and then i made it up. mehemehemehemehe

    10. It is kind of funny that they call undies “pants” when pants ARE worn on the outside, and knickers always remind me of the short, buckled at the knee pants boys wore back in the day…I daresay that would definitely ruin the look of a sexy dress. No wonder confusion reigns!! haha

    11. I hope Carmen and Marina (nice touch, that) get to the bottom of it all, and disable the source of the Jennybots. Although… they might not make it back alive. Where do they go, once it’s time to exit the portal? I hope they don’t get dumped at the side of the road, like their characters were… hum, things to ponder. And how many Bettes are there? One’s gone to do Jenny, three are doing Tina, and the real one’s getting done by Hels… It’s not enough… there needs to be at least 25 to take down IC and her karaoke bot chorus? This was hilarious (I love that slutty slutty office wear) and I want more… post when you can hb, cheers!

    12. hey helebette… that was brilliant… haha… that was so freaking off the wall… ballz out brilliant… boy does your mind work in amazingly complex and divergent ways… you are awesome… haha knickers… knackers… as for Canadians I think we do things right… why wear them at all… its not that cold and if you are cold well find someone to keep you warm… thats all… Sincerely, JC

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