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    The L Word Series Finale: Clones Have Feelings Tooooooooo

    Story written on January 27, 2008 by helebette.
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    3 votes, average: 2.00 out of 53 votes, average: 2.00 out of 53 votes, average: 2.00 out of 53 votes, average: 2.00 out of 53 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
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    Genre(s):
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    Number of Comments: 14
    Words: 3599
    Story Shortlink: https://www.assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=68407
    Author Notes:

    pure silliness…more clones, more bettes than you can shake a stick at, and marina and carmen make comebacks together in norty fashion

     

    “WHAT?” Bette screeched, FED UP. “WHAT DO YOU WANT? I HATE YOU! DAMMIT!”

     

    “Hey, Bette, chill.” Ilene’s eyes suddenly glowed green and she reached her hands in a peaceful manner, up to where the foursome hid in the attic.  Through the hole in ceiling, only Bette and Helena peered down. Having pulled the ladder, they were safe, but worried about whatever it was that Ilene was up to.

     

    “Turn around…” Ilene started to sing.

     

    Bette and Helena looked confusedly at one another, as the song became clearer.

     

    Ilene’s eyes continued to glow, and three more Ilene replicas came in the front door, their eyes also green/blue and glowing brightly. “Turn around…bright eyes…”

     

    “Every now and then I fall apart…” Ilene the first sang.  She hadn’t told them yet, knowing that they were frightened of her Jennybots, but she really really really really really really wanted them on her new Jenny series, and if she just sang them some Bonnie Tyler, she was certain that they would be wooed.

     

    “And I need you now tonite!” The Jenny clones kind of grunted along as the chorus was sang loudly by Ilene(s).

     

    “I HATE THAT DUMB ASS SONG, WHY ARE YOU SERENEDING US!” Helena screeched, suddenly pulling at her shirt, worrying, worrying, worrying, that she would never get away from Ilene.  She began to examine her palms for blood, suddenly inspired to recite Macbeth.  Bette glanced at her girlfriend, worried that she was losing her mind.

     

    “AND IF YOU ONLY HOLD ME TIGHT, WE’LL BE HOLDING ON FOREVER, AND WE’LL ONLY BE MAKING IT RIGHT!” Ilene and her clone quartette were singing so loudly that the Jennies were becoming frightened.

     

    “STOP IT! STOP SINGING THAT…THAT…CRAP FROM WALES!” Helena started to cry, so Bette shooed her away from the attic door.

     

    “Ilene…Ilene..” Bette tried to reason with the singers. “Why are you singing a karaoke song to us?”

     

    Ilene sighed and gestured for her group to stop singing.  Their eyes returned to a normal shade for the moment, while she took out her contracts, offering a whole $26.50 raise over and above their previous L Word salary, for regular appearances on Jenny.

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    Comments

    1. Ooooh, does this RANDOM person get to be first? Sofa does not have to fear, I would never run away with Rachel. My heart is with Bette, the real one, none of her clones, ick! It is too funny that I am going to miss Helena so much, when I hated her at first. She has to come back and be with Bette…Bette hasn’t ever given that “come hither…NOW” look, that smile, to anyone but Helena! Can I throw in that I don’t mind about the faux punk if you leave out the toys? Ha! A raise of 26.50, EACH, and they didn’t TAKE it?? Who in their right minds would walk away from that? Well, of course they weren’t, they were besieged by Jenny and Ilene clones. OH the horror!!! Good thing there was no Tina there, real or cloned, or it would have been too horrible to bear!

    2. HB-I began giggling before I opened it. How pathetic is that!..So many lines had me cracking up…As for Helena I loved her at the first shot at the ankle and the moans in the background. The lick of the lips before the took her shrink sealed the deal… Yeah she was kind of crazy at times but when you are excruatingly fuckin’ gorgeous you are entitled to be crazy…(Captain Squirl’s rules) I don’t know if she’s gone for good but she has left a sexy legacy…For Sure!!! Yes Su2K-Bette did give our girl a come hither look!!

    4. Since you promised a recall, I won’t fret about Jenny (“Something Wicked This Way Comes”) Schecter and her fiendish clones inheriting the earth. Can Tina find happiness in a functional relationship? Excellent question. But for now I’m more intrigued by the mysterious “damned egg” that haunted the English Muffin’s preteen years. I’d love to know the backstory on that one.

    5. I’ll take a pass on having a Jennybot, no offense, I knew enough Jenny’s in college and I haven’t quite recovered. ; ) Thanks for another whackisode of clonedom.

    6. English muffin. Nackered knickers. Hehe! The clones are not unlike zombies, the pre-snuggle Bette was quite the dog, if not a werewolf. I suspect the reading of the Jenny script alone is all you need to gag people. I want to hear more about what constitutes slutty slutty Canadian office wear. Where did that Carmen go? Your mind clearly works in strange ways HB, yet is most nimble.

    8. naw, you don’t su..i was just making light of the debate between americans and brits with regards to hottie undergarments. i thought ‘hey, what DO canadians call that stuff?’ and then i made it up. mehemehemehemehe

    10. It is kind of funny that they call undies “pants” when pants ARE worn on the outside, and knickers always remind me of the short, buckled at the knee pants boys wore back in the day…I daresay that would definitely ruin the look of a sexy dress. No wonder confusion reigns!! haha

    11. I hope Carmen and Marina (nice touch, that) get to the bottom of it all, and disable the source of the Jennybots. Although… they might not make it back alive. Where do they go, once it’s time to exit the portal? I hope they don’t get dumped at the side of the road, like their characters were… hum, things to ponder. And how many Bettes are there? One’s gone to do Jenny, three are doing Tina, and the real one’s getting done by Hels… It’s not enough… there needs to be at least 25 to take down IC and her karaoke bot chorus? This was hilarious (I love that slutty slutty office wear) and I want more… post when you can hb, cheers!

    12. hey helebette… that was brilliant… haha… that was so freaking off the wall… ballz out brilliant… boy does your mind work in amazingly complex and divergent ways… you are awesome… haha knickers… knackers… as for Canadians I think we do things right… why wear them at all… its not that cold and if you are cold well find someone to keep you warm… thats all… Sincerely, JC

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