By: Dreiser


The Palms never changed and Dana supposed that was the point of it. That no matter how much the world changed around them, with politics, opinions, and social trends The Palms remained the same. An old school ***** bar that had bad lighting, fairly seedy surroundings, and was filled with… well. What else could it be filled with but old school lesbians?

Entering The Palms and returning a few admiring hellos, Dana adjusted her eyes to the aforementioned bad lighting and looked for Alice. She spotted the blonde on the far side of the bar, staring forlornly at three empty bottles of Jack Daniels and absently peeling the label off one of them. To put it simply, she looked horrible. Dana could almost see the sadness coming off Alice in waves and she wanted nothing more than to go over there then wrap her up in a tight and loving embrace.

But she couldn’t.

That instinct had to wait until she found out what was going on and why Alice had acted the way she had tonight. But the moment she did know… no, the instant. No, that wasn’t fast enough. The nanosecond that she did know, Dana would hold Alice close to her and not leave a breath between their bodies as she comforted and reassured.

“Dana?”

Jumping a little in surprise, Dana turned to look at Tabitha, the longtime bartender for The Palms who was considered a friend to everyone in the LA ***** community. “Tabitha,” she said quietly, focusing her gaze back on Alice who was still peeling at the label and hadn’t noticed Dana’s entrance. “How is she?”

“Want the truth?” asked Tabitha, lifting an eyebrow carefully.

“Of course,” said Dana in response and she looked at the other woman with an insulted expression on her tanned features.

“She’s ***** miserable,” Tabitha replied, ignoring the insulted look Dana was wearing and leaning over the bar as the tennis player stepped closer. “She’s gone through three full bottles of Jack Daniels and if I hadn’t cut her off she’d probably be going through her fourth or fifth as we speak. I dunno what this is about, Dana, and you know what? I don’t much care. But Alice has been a good friend to me and you’re her girlfriend so…” Her words trailed off and she looked away from Dana as she shrugged.

“So…?” echoed Dana as she studied Tabitha quietly.

Turning to lock their eyes, Tabitha finished in soft solemn tones, “So you go over there and take care of her, okay? Because she sure as ***** can’t do that for herself right now.”

It never ceased to amaze Dana how many friends Alice had acquired over the years. Sometimes it even seemed to her that the journalist was friends with everyone they encountered. She had this uncanny ability to find something in common with pretty much anyone she met and because of that people tended to flock to her. When Dana had first became friends with Alice it made her both jealous and insecure because it left her wondering how could she possibly be special to Alice when she had so many other people in her life?

Then she noticed that while Alice had other people she didn’t choose them. She chose Dana time and time again to go to and now she had chosen Dana to be with romantically. She had chosen Dana to fall in love with.

Well, maybe she didn’t choose that but all the same, Alice had fallen in love with her, Dana knew that absolutely. She also knew she was special to Alice and that she mattered to her far more than others. And knowing that, Dana dipped her head in silent acknowledgement of Tabitha’s request then walked over to the blonde with that thought foremost in her mind.

That Alice had chosen her. That Alice loved her. That Alice was in love with her.

Coming to a stop directly behind the barstool Alice was sitting on, Dana stared at the elegant curve of the blonde’s neck and slowly reached her hand out to press gently against the small of her back. “Al,” Dana said the name in a verbal caress.

Alice turned to her and when she looked into brown eyes that were normally filled with lively happiness so sad and desolate, Dana forgot about ignoring her instincts and wrapped Alice up in a fervent embrace. The journalist buried her face in the crook of Dana’s neck, sobbing soundlessly as she said the tennis player’s name over and over again.

“Oh, Al,” murmured Dana, heartbroken and anxious, holding the blonde closer to her yet. Dipping her head down, she put their faces side to side and wrapped her arms around Alice’s waist, lifting the blonde from the barstool and into her embrace. “Don’t cry… please don’t cry. It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

“Dana,” Alice collapsed into Dana, clutching to her with desperate hands, seeming unable to believe the brunette had actually come for her. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. There’s nothing for you to be sorry about,” Dana soothed, pulling back and wiping the tears from Alice’s cheeks with the pads of her thumbs. Cupping the blonde’s face tenderly in her hands, she smiled softly, “Okay?”

“Okay,” said Alice, her head dropping in a nod as she released a tremulous sigh.

“Come on,” said Dana who looked from Alice to the few patrons The Palms had. All of which immediately placed their attention elsewhere when her gaze shifted. “Lets go home.”

Great. This would be all over the ***** and ***** gossip circuit the instant they left the bar. Not that it really mattered to Dana. She was out now and even if she wasn’t out the only thing that counted was Alice. So she turned her focus back to the blonde, wrapping an arm firmly around her waist, supporting the weight of her body as they made their way to the door.

The walk to Dana’s Outback was silent except for the sounds of traffic and people passing by. Unlocking her car with the usual clicks and beeps that went with the new technology, Dana opened up the front passenger door and turned to Alice. The journalist was looking away from her, at the people on the street with a veiled and forlorn expression. Feeling inexplicably sad on seeing this, Dana murmured the blonde’s name.

Jolting visibly, Alice faced Dana and formed a wan smile as the athlete offered her hand. Taking the hand and squeezing it softly, Alice let Dana help her into the car and fasten her seatbelt. Though they were small gestures, the brunette couldn’t help the warmth that spread through her because Alice was letting her help. Meager and insignificant as it really might be, she was finally being allowed to help the woman that she loved and Dana couldn’t properly explain how good that made her feel.

Once Alice was safely inside the car, Dana climbed into the driver’s seat and started the trip back to the blonde’s apartment. They remained in silence for several minutes but when they were stopped at a traffic light waiting for it to change from red to green, Alice said in a stark confession, “When my father died I had to learn to take care of myself.”

Dana looked to Alice, shocked at the admission, wanting to say something in response but stopping herself just because she was sure if she spoke then Alice would stop. And that was the last thing Dana wanted.

“My mother loves me,” Alice continued, keeping her gaze fixed straight ahead, her face obscured by shadows. “I know that. *****,” she released a bitter laugh, “I even know that my brother and sister love me. But the way they love…” She sighed and rested her head against the window. “It can sometimes hurt.”

The blare of loud honking met their ears and Dana jumped in her seat, looking at the traffic light that was now green. With a scowl, she adjusted the rear view mirror and looked at the man behind her who was gesturing obscenely. Releasing a quiet snort as she studied him, Dana wondered who in their right mind would wear a toupee and drive a convertible.

Worried that her lack of attention might have caused Alice to stop talking, Dana glanced quickly to the blonde who, to her surprise, met the gaze and smiled softly. Then she turned to stare ahead as she had before then went on. “I shouldn’t make it sound so dramatic,” Alice scoffed. “I wasn’t abused or anything. It was more like I didn’t really exist. I was there but only when they remembered I was, you know? I mean, they would promise stuff and then…”

Trailing off in frustration, Alice leaned her head back against the window and said, “When I was in fourth grade I was in this music recital thing. It was a state wide competition or something. I told Mom about it, Nelson and Jolene too,” Alice laughed soft and derisive. “They said they would come, they promised they would come, and of course the night of the recital contest thingy arrives and did they come?” Dana winced at the resigned tone in Alice’s voice. It seemed as if the blonde was actually ridiculing herself for being stupid enough to believe in her family. There was silence then Alice chuckled and murmured, “I remember though… a month or so later. Mom was in my room for some reason and she looks at my bookshelf and sees the trophy I got for winning the recital thing. She looked at it and she looked at me, just totally blank, no memory whatsoever, and asked what the trophy was for.” Laughing again, Alice lightly thumped her head against the window and said, “Want to know what I said?”

“What did you say?” asked Dana, pained and hurting, god she was hurting so very badly for Alice. But her pain and her hurt didn’t matter… helping Alice did. Listening to her, being there for her. That’s why she asked the question though part of her, the part that was hurting so badly for Alice, honestly didn’t want to hear the answer.

“I said it was for showing up,” Alice laughed, sounding rather amused with her childhood antics. “And if you ask my mother about it, to this day, she will say that I got a trophy in the fourth grade for having perfect attendance.”

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Dana asked, “How did you get to the recital, Al?”

“A friend’s Mom took me,” said Alice with a shrug. She looked to Dana, smiling softly that the brunette would care about such a trivial detail but at the same time feeling comforted by it. Her father had been the same way. Worried with the little things in life because, he had told her once, the little things were what made up life in the first place. “Mrs. Johanson. My friend Melissa’s mother… I remember her because I thought she was cool since she hated Lenore’s TV show. She was the only grown up I knew that didn’t suck up to my mother.”

The sound of traffic and the city then Dana, her jaw set and her eyes misting from unshed tears, said in tones laced thick with sorrow, “I’m sorry you went through that.”

“I know,” Alice replied, shifting her gaze from the road to Dana as they stopped at another traffic light. Reaching out to rest her hand on top of Dana’s, the one closest to her that sat on the steering wheel. When the tennis player looked to her and met their eyes, she clumsily pulled the hand to her lips and kissed it tenderly. “I know you are, Dana. I know why you wanted me to talk to you… I know you want to help. But it’s ***** like that… it…” Frustrated and lacking the words due to being inebriated still, Alice shook her head and muttered, “It’s hard for me, you know? I’m not used to people keeping their promises. I’ve always taken care of myself because of stuff like that when I was little. I learned I couldn’t rely on my family for important things so I just did it myself. And I’ve been doing it that way for almost twenty years now.” Laughing wryly, Alice commented, “It’s kind of hard for me to stop.”

“Al…” Dana began, her voice throaty and concerned.

“Green light,” interrupted Alice with a nod and a small smile. The tennis player immediately jerked her attention back to the road and driving. When she did, Alice studied her for a long moment then looked forward, staring ahead as she said, “My mother’s in debt again. That’s what the dinner was about. She’s never been good with money and this kind of thing happens a lot with her. Nelson, Jolene, and I sort of have this unspoken deal to take care of her, I guess. Whenever the bills pile up we have dinner and split them amongst ourselves.” Alice snorted and said, “Not like it’s really a fair split though. Nelson and Jo are at 30% each and lucky me, I get 40% to pay off.”

“Your mother does this a lot?” asked Dana, shocked though she knew somehow she really shouldn’t be. That seemed like very Lenore behavior, after all. “Creating massive debt?”

“Since I was a kid,” Alice remarked, shrugging and smirking slightly. “It’s a ***** pain, right? But… I don’t know… I sorta have to take care of her. I promised.” There was silence then Alice repeated quiet and solemn, “I promised.”

“Who did you promise?” Dana asked, frowning.

“I didn’t promise him, I guess. It’s more like I promised myself because of him,” continued Alice. She was lost in the memories and with the aid of her alcoholic buzz she didn’t hear Dana’s question. Instead she rested her head against the window and closed her eyes as she remembered. “My father loved her so much. Even after two divorces and her cheating on him I don’t know how many times, he loved her. And I asked him once why he did because even though I was just a kid I could see it, you know? I could see how much he loved her.” A faint and wistful smile formed on her features and Alice murmured, “He told me that if you love someone it doesn’t matter if they hurt you because them hurting you doesn’t ever really stop you from loving them. So in the end, all that matters is the fact that you love them and if you love someone you try and take care of them.” She laughed sharply and thumped her head against the head rest, her eyes squeezed shut as she rubbed at them with the back of her hand. “And he did… he did take care of her until he couldn’t anymore, because he was dead.”

“And now you’re trying to take care of her for him,” finished Dana, her throat constricting from the emotion. “God, Al.”

“I swore that if I was lucky enough to find someone like my father, someone who was good and honest and kind…” Alice trailed off, laughing through her tears and tipping her head back against the chair. “He was so kind, Dana. Really he was. And I… I told myself if I was to be with someone like him I wouldn’t be like her. I wouldn’t take them for granted, I wouldn’t abuse their love and trust in me like she did to him.” Thumping her head again, she laughed quietly. “But I guess I really am my mother’s daughter because I did it anyway. I acted just like her.”

They had been in the parking lot for Alice’s apartment building for the past three minutes. Something that neither of them quite registered, they were so caught up in one another. Even Dana, who had been driving, only took slight notice of it and that was simply because she had turned the car ignition off. Like Alice, she stared straight ahead, afraid that if she met their eyes Alice would lose her courage and be unable to say what she obviously needed to.

“I was horrible to you, Dana,” said Alice finally, unwavering and solemn in her conviction. “I was horrible and I was mean and I was just like her…” Alice’s voice cracked at these words and she released a tiny sob. “I treated you just like she treated him and I swore that I would never do that… I swore that if someone ever loved me like he loved her that I wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t ever take them for granted and mistreat them the way my mother mistreated my father. But I did,” she said in trembling confession. “I did and I’ll understand if you can’t forgive me or if you don’t want to be with me anymore…”

The sound of a heartbroken sob ended whatever else Alice was going to say and she turned to Dana who wore an expression that was etched in such deep sadness she couldn’t bear to see it knowing she was the cause. And so Alice cursed herself, fumbling drunkenly with the seatbelt and hastily exiting Dana’s car to stumble towards her apartment building. Continuing to curse herself along the way, thumping her head against the tacky yellow wall, Alice waited for the elevator while loathing her own existence. Why did she always ***** things up? Why? Groaning at the sharp ding the elevator made as the doors opened, she started to walk inside.

“Alice, wait! Al! Alice, wait up!”

Knowing she couldn’t ever refuse Dana, especially now, Alice did as the tennis player asked and waited in the doorway to the elevator. Holding the doors open by putting her hands against them, ignoring the feel of them automatically trying to open only to fall back again at the pressure from her hands. Staring ahead, her head fell and she held back tears when she felt soft lips press against the nape of her neck as strong arms wound around her waist.

“Don’t leave me,” Dana said in a throaty utterance before burying her face in Alice’s neck and holding the blonde closer yet. “Don’t you leave me, Al. Don’t ever do that.”

“Dana,” Alice whispered her name in a strange type of reverent disbelief. Almost as if she couldn’t quite believe the athlete was still here with her. That she would still want her. Placing her hands on top of Dana’s, she fell back into the embrace. “I won’t,” she said after a long pause. Finding her courage, she turned in Dana’s arms and faced the brunette, releasing a cry when she saw earnest blue eyes were filled with tears just like her own. Holding Dana’s face in her hands, she moved forward for a passionate kiss, hungry in its need to prove and demonstrate her love. “I won’t ever leave you.”

“You promise?” Dana half asked, half cried into her, pressing forward until they were both inside the elevator. The doors closing with a sharp ding as they landed against the far wall, lips ravenously seeking one another.

“I promise,” growled Alice who captured Dana’s lips, tangling her fingers in wavy brown hair and devouring everything that she was. Wanting all of Dana, loving all of Dana, and frantic to prove that in the best way she knew how. “I love you. I love you so much.”

They were so caught up they didn’t hear the ding of the elevator as it arrived, somewhat magically, at Alice’s floor. Magically because neither one of them had bothered to press the floor they wanted once they were inside the elevator. But sadly, it wasn’t really magic. It was Patty who needed to make a late night run to the supermarket that caused the elevator doors to magically open at their floor.

And it was Patty with an arched eyebrow and wearing a slight blush who cleared her throat then caused them to pause in their activities. Not separating in the slightest, Alice pressed against the elevator wall, Dana pressed against her, the couple moved to peer backwards at Patty who smiled almost sheepishly.

“Hey,” Patty offered her traditional greeting.

Being the sober portion of the couple, Dana was the first to react and turning bright red she took Alice’s hand in her own and led the exit from the elevator. “Hey Patty,” she muttered, averting her eyes and staring at the door to Alice’s apartment which she really wished they were inside. “We were just… uhm… I mean…”

“It’s cool,” interrupted Patty, not particularly minding what she saw even if it did make her feel that annoying desire to try her hand at dating again. “I gotta go to the grocery store.” Walking into the elevator, she turned to face them and formed a tiny but affectionate grin for the couple. “See you two later.”

Another ding and the elevator doors shut again.

Dana groaned in embarrassment, walking to Alice’s apartment door, unlocking it and going inside. “I wonder what she must be thinking about us now.”

“It bothers you… her seeing us together?” asked Alice, her voice small and vulnerable.

Closing the door and turning to Alice, seeing for herself the exposed look that quite clearly revealed her fear of rejection, Dana released a strangled cry and quickly wrapped the blonde up in her arms. “No, never, that could never bother me, Al,” she declared, voice muffled through her fierce kisses, trying to show through them exactly what she felt. “I’m so proud to be with you… I am but what we have… god…” Dana pulled her mouth from Alice’s with a gasp that sounded again as the blonde sucked and kissed the pulse point in her neck. “It’s so special and I don’t want to share it with other people. I want it to just be for us.” Managing to separate from Alice, feeling nearly as intoxicated as the other woman thanks to their kisses, Dana cupped her face in a gentle hold and met their eyes. “Does that make any sense? Can you understand what I mean? I know I’m not good at explaining things like this…”

“I understand,” Alice cut Dana off soft and tender. She moved forward to begin a sweet and loving kiss, murmuring into it as her fingers tangled in wavy brown hair. “I understand and I love you for that.” They parted with low groans from them both and Alice fell into Dana, kissing her while the athlete backed them into her bedroom. “I love you, Dana.”

“I love you too,” Dana replied quiet and powerful. Pulling from their embrace and cupping Alice’s face again, studying the planes with a lidded gaze, smiling affectionately when a lock of blonde hair fell into brown eyes and moving to gently push it back into place. Holding Alice, stroking the pale skin of her face and sighing as she leaned forward to rest their foreheads together, Dana locked their eyes to say in an somber utterance, “I won’t ever leave you.”

She watched as tears formed in Alice’s eyes and wanted more than anything to wipe them away as they fell but Dana couldn’t. It was made impossible because the moment she tried, the blonde swept her up in a kiss so hungry and fierce and passionate Dana thought she might come just from it alone. But she didn’t, instead she moaned into Alice, burying her fingers in messy blonde hair and moving forward to the bed. Wrapping the journalist up in her arms before allowing gravity to do its work, letting them fall onto the soft mattress.

“I want you so much,” Alice muttered, her words as desperate as her lips, kissing Dana fervently to then move down her body and leave them naked in seconds. She was certain she had destroyed some of their clothing in her hasty process of removing it but that didn’t matter. The only thing that did was Dana. Showing her right now how much Alice loved her and just how sorry she was for how she had treated her, that was all that counted. Sliding up Dana’s body and capturing her lips for another kiss, Alice murmured, “I love you.”

“Alice…”

The name came out as a half groan and half plea, Dana’s head was turned to one side, buried against a pillow as she felt the delicious burn of full lips kissing a path across her body. She knew the path, she knew what it led to, had led to delightfully so many times before but she didn’t want that now. She wanted Alice with her and she tugged on the blonde, pulling her up and capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.

When they parted, though dazed from alcohol and lust Alice knew Dana well enough to look at her concern and ask in husky tones, “What is it?”

“I want you with me,” Dana said, her voice throaty from desire as she tangled her fingers in messy blonde hair. “I want you with me,” she repeated breathlessly and she lifted up, seizing Alice’s lips for a deep kiss.

“Dana,” moaned Alice in response, returning the kiss and escalating it by slipping her tongue inside. Tasting and sucking and devouring everything that was Dana as her fingers traced a journey down tanned skin. Stopping at the edge of her *****, playing outside and feeling, god, feeling how wet Dana was… how much she wanted her… how much she desired her… and reveling in it. Reveling in the reality that someone wanted her that ***** intensely. That Dana wanted her that intensely. It was all she ever wished for. “What else? What else do you want?”

“I want you inside of me,” groaned Dana, arching into Alice, lifting her body into the blonde and vaguely recalling a time when those same words had been said to her. “Please.”

“Dana,” Alice breathed her name in reverence.

She was moaning and saying the name like it was the most precious thing in the world to her. And in a way it was because it was Dana’s name and Dana was what Alice cared for the most in this world and that made Dana the most precious thing in the world to her. So of course Alice would say her name that way. She said it and she met their lips for another kiss, slipping her tongue inside, sucking on Dana’s, caressing and tugging and teasing her as her fingers parted the wet folds, playing and toying about. Making Dana sob into her kisses with frustration and feeling this, the want and the desperation, Alice kissed her deep and passionate as she finally gave Dana what she wanted and thrust inside.

The sound Dana released was a combination sob of absolute joy and pure relief, her head tilted back into the pillows and her body arched, lifting into Alice with ecstasy. She felt the burn of Alice’s lips on hers, kissing her thorough and wanting to then fall to her neck, sucking and licking and caressing. While the fingers inside her, they pressed further yet, exploring as far as they could, touching parts of her that Dana didn’t even know existed and sending sharp jolts of pleasure through her body. Grasping at Alice, she gripped the blonde’s hips and pulled her aggressively up and into her, meeting their lips for another kiss and rising impatiently into Alice, matching the rhythm of her fingers and intensifying it.

“Harder,” Dana gasped through the kiss, her head falling back and her mouth opening wordlessly as Alice thrust further still. “***** me harder.”

And she did, Alice fucked Dana harder and faster and deeper, pressing their bodies so close they wondered if it was possible to ever get any closer only to prove themselves wrong just seconds later when they did. Lips devouring one another, swallowing the moans and cries of pleasure, leaving the only sound in the room the almost nonexistent noise of the Super Queen mattress and its springs holding out to the best of their very expensive Swedish made ability. When Dana came, her body frozen in a portrait of total sexual gratification the only thing to be heard was the quiet thump of their bodies falling onto the bed moments later.

Then Dana groaned, low and husky from her throat, when Alice slipped her fingers out of her, then moved forward to bury her face in the crook of her neck as Dana wrapped her up in an a weary but very happy embrace. They were still for what seemed like hours but was only seconds and Alice lightly kissed Dana’s neck then chuckled.

“What?” asked Dana, sounding both curious and languid, her hand reaching down to play with messy blonde hair that was now in complete disarray.

“It’s nothing,” said Alice happily, snuggling further into Dana and sighing at the sensation of fingers playing with her hair. “I was just thinking that there’s no way I could ever leave you after having ***** like that.” Lifting her head and meeting their eyes, Dana saw the mischievous twinkle in her brown gaze, Alice continued, “Because it makes me way too ***** tired.”

Alice soon found herself pinned onto the bed, body collapsing from laughter, squirming under the knowing touch of Dana’s hands. Though she had been telling the truth, she was way too ***** tired, it didn’t stop her from accepting Dana’s zealous kisses that led to another fiercely ardent session of love making. Just because it didn’t really matter just how ***** tired she was, Alice would always want to do that.

She would always want to be with Dana.

—

Time was a ridiculous concept if you asked Gabby. How can you track something as vague and indefinable as time anyway?

Two weeks and three days was the amount of time that had passed since Gabby had seen Alice drunk at The Palms. It didn’t seem like it that little time had passed because to her it felt like a lifetime thanks to everything that had gone on.

For the first time in her life Gabby was confused and she didn’t like the feeling at all.

Some might wonder about that, bringing up the fact that Gabby was fickle so how could she possibly just now be confused. Well, it’s very different to be confused and not fickle. If you were confused you didn’t know what you wanted. While if you were fickle you knew what you wanted but you just constantly changed your mind about exactly what that was.

And now Gabby was confused not fickle.

Confused about what she wanted, who she wanted, which like time was just a ridiculous concept to her. She always knew what she wanted. That was part and parcel of her just being who she was. Gabby knew what she wanted in life and she went after it and made it hers. That was what she did, that was who she was.

She wasn’t sure what she wanted and that left her confused about what to do. Part of her wanted to be angry at the person who had caused this confusion in her but Gabby couldn’t be angry at her. The mere idea of being angry at Lara Perkins was utterly foreign to her.

Lara was just so… Lara… she was so kind and sweet and genuine and she had given Gabby an honest chance. Ignoring the gossip and the insults and the countless warnings, some that had even been delivered to her face with Gabby standing next to her, and took Gabby at face value. No one she dated had done that for her before. Not even Alice.

Then there was Alice. She hadn’t changed her mind about Alice, no, not at all. Alice was hers. Gabby knew that without the slightest bit of doubt. Alice belonged with her and she always had and she always would but now…

But now there was Lara.

The situation fucked up, royally fucked up, Gabby knew that. She had started dating Lara to get closer to Alice and Dana, in hopes of creating trouble by dating the only ex the tennis player held any sort of fondness for. Wanting to make Dana jealous and raise insecurities in Alice about their relationship, creating a gap between them that Gabby could eventually use to sweep in and claim Alice as her own. Then Lara had turned out to be such… god, she was such a good person… not to mention being the best lay Gabby had ever had.

Better than Alice in some ways.

It was the indescribable air of innocence that the redhead had about her that did it, Gabby was sure. The playful sparkle in her green eyes and that tiny grin tugging on her lips, reminding Gabby of a naughty child, and the way she would do that right before she ate the brunette out with such ferocious hunger and desire it made her quiver at the thought of it.

Fucked.

Utterly and totally fucked was Gabby. Enough that she felt like going on a drinking binge like Alice had at The Palms. What the ***** was she supposed to do anyway? She wanted Alice and she didn’t want to abandon her plans to win her back but at the same time…

She couldn’t hurt Lara.

So fucked.

How the ***** was she supposed to get Alice and not hurt Lara? And then there was the fact that… *****… she wanted Lara too. She wanted Lara almost as much as she wanted Alice. Oh *****, that was a lie and she knew it. She did want Lara as much as she wanted Alice and that was why she was fucked.

Because she wanted them both and she couldn’t have them both and she didn’t know what to do. Which to choose. Certainly it would be easier to pick Lara but Gabby wasn’t someone who made her decisions based on what was easiest. In fact, she often did the opposite. Quite enjoying the idea of proving herself by achieving what was most difficult.

But still, she couldn’t hurt Lara.

The confusion had to leave, she had to sweep it from her mind and make her choice, the sooner the better. This thought was firm in her mind as she walked into The Planet and blinked at the sight of Alice sitting at the front counter.

Irritated at herself for being surprised at seeing Alice at The Planet of all places, since it was the blonde and her friends long standing hang out, Gabby put her mask of self confidence into place and drawled, “Alice.”

“Gabby,” Alice said her name and jerked in her seat, reflecting the same surprise that the brunette had forced herself to suppress moments ago.

Chuckling in pleasure at this reaction, Gabby lifted an eyebrow and remarked, “I thought you would have a more interesting demise than muttering to yourself at The Planet.”

“Yeah,” said Alice dimly, staring at Gabby in something akin to shock. “Wow.”

Although she knew she really shouldn’t, not with Lara here doing her interview or try out or whatever you called it when a chef made food for her potential employer, Gabby couldn’t resist opening up her arms exuberant and wide. “Give me a hug,” she declared, smiling large and embracing still very stupefied Alice.

“Okay… uhm… hi,” Alice muttered, returning Gabby’s greeting and dealing with the hug rather uncomfortably.

“You look good,” complimented Gabby, smiling happily and watching Alice closely to gauge her facial expressions. Much like Dana, she knew that when it came to the blonde you had to pay attention to how Alice looked and sounded when she spoke to truly find out what was going on inside of her head.

“Thanks,” said Alice skeptically, lifting an eyebrow and matching the smile with one of her own that was guarded in its intent. “What’s wrong with you?”

Releasing a low murmur, Gabby leaned casually against the counter and easily fell into the routine she had seen many times before of someone who was so head over heels in love they wanted to tell anyone they met. “Nothing except that I’m in love,” Gabby announced. She couldn’t help but smile internally when Alice formed an expression that to her clearly said ‘bullshit’ and went on, “Yeah.” Now thoroughly into the act, so much so that she couldn’t help but wonder if maybe it wasn’t an act at all, Gabby pressed her hands playfully against her chest. “Gabby Deveaux in love.”

“Wow,” Alice said again as she kept the bullshit expression on her face.

“How are you?” asked Gabby, voice reflecting actual care.

Enough that Alice blinked and tilted her head, regarding Gabby much like she was a space alien who had just landed to Earth and said she wanted to suck out her brain. “I’m fine… I’m doing really good actually,” revealed Alice, smiling softly.

“You had several hours of scorching make up ***** with your tennis player didn’t you,” Gabby drawled humorously, lifting an eyebrow and wearing a knowing look on her face. As she said this, she knew it would make the blonde recall the several instances where she and Alice had done the same thing.

“Yeah, I did,” Alice muttered, blushing as she averted her gaze. The gesture had Gabby smiling smugly only to wipe the look quickly from her face when Alice focused on her. “Well,” she coughed, shrugging her shoulders a bit. “Do I know your new paramour?”

Unable to help herself, Gabby turned from Alice and looked around the cafe in search of Lara. “She’s… uhm…” Upon spotting the familiar head of red hair, Gabby smiled fondly and reached her hand out to Lara who was already making her approach. “Here she is.”

“Lara?” asked Alice, blinking stupidly and Gabby again formed another internal smile, this one of triumph, at the shocked look the blonde was wearing. This was definitely having an effect and if she was reading Alice correctly, which she always did, there was an edge of jealousy in her tone. She knew it, she just knew this plan would work.

“Hey Alice,” said Lara, smiling warmly.

“I guess you do,” said Gabby who was rather proud as to how ignorant she made herself sound about exactly why Alice would know Lara. “Hey baby,” she murmured into Lara, meeting their lips for several quick kisses. “Did she like your recipes?” She was honestly curious as to how Lara’s cooking interview thing with Kit had gone. Though she wasn’t particularly fond of The Planet due to Alice’s personal guard always being there she did want Lara to do well.

“Dishes,” Lara laughed affectionately, cupping Gabby’s cheek and pushing aside a stray lock of hair. “We call them dishes and not recipes.”

“Dishes, right,” drawled Gabby, nodding her head and rolling her eyes.

“So Alice,” said Lara as she turned her attention to the journalist who was already packing up her laptop computer. “How’s Dana? She told me about Tonya staying on as her Manager and that whole Fila endorsement. It sounds great.”

“Yeah, great, she’s great, we’re great, I’m great,” Alice said in overly perky tones as she laughed slightly. “I’ve got to go… I’ve got an interview and… yeah… bye!”

Gabby watched Alice exit, her eyes narrowed to judge the nervousness in the blonde. She had definitely been bothered by seeing her with Lara although she wasn’t sure if it was from personal jealousy or worry of what effect the news of her dating the redhead would have on Dana. Either way, it had an effect and that was what she had been hoping for all along.

The soft touch of Lara’s hand trailing down her arm instantly had Gabby looking up into sparkling green eyes and as soon as she did, she found herself lost in them. Moving forward without her own volition, Gabby met Lara’s lips for a tender kiss and when she felt the redhead deepen it, capturing her tongue for a light and playful suck she knew one thing for certain.

She really was so royally fucked.

—

The chart had been a passion of Alice’s for years now and for years it had been pretty much mocked by every person who heard about it. First by her friends, then by her lovers, and then by her colleagues at LA Magazine. In fact, the only person who took the chart seriously was Dana.

Which was part of why Alice loved Dana.

But here she was, sitting in Mimi’s office at KCRW, listening to her regale endlessly how brilliant the chart was and how they could develop this into an entire radio show all about connections.

Wait a minute.

An entire radio show? This was just supposed to be a three minute culture spot wasn’t it? When had a radio show come into this picture? She didn’t remember a radio show being mentioned. The surprise she felt must have shown up clearly on her face because Mimi was giving her that fond big sister look she often wore and asking her if she was feeling all right.

“I thought this was an audition for a three minute culture spot,” Alice decided to simply voice her thoughts out loud, figuring that would be the best way to get her questions answered.

“It is,” said Mimi who smiled large and leaned forward to rest her arms on her desk. “But I’ll let you in on a little secret, Alice.” She made a tiny gesture and Alice scooted to the edge of her seat, leaning towards Mimi. “We’re looking to change the feel of the station. People tend to think of talk radio as either boring or obnoxious. We want to add new on air personalities that aren’t either of these things. What we want,” Mimi drawled with obvious pleasure, “are likable people. The type that our listeners can get invested in. Feel like they’re friends with them… you know,” she smiled playfully. “Form a connection.”

“A connection,” echoed Alice, her eyes going wide. Releasing a tiny cry of happiness, she clapped her hands and said, “You’re kidding!” When Mimi laughed and shook her head, Alice put her hand to her mouth and bit on it slightly. “You’re not kidding! You’re seriously looking for new on air personalities? So this isn’t for just a three minute culture spot? Or is it? I mean, what is this really, Mimi? You can’t leave me hanging!”

“This audition was for a three minute culture spot,” revealed Mimi, leaning back in her seat now. “We’re bringing in a lot of different people to do some minor spots like the one you just auditioned for. Each of you will have a few months to settle in, develop your on air style and audience following. As you do so, we’ll increase air time little by little. When the trial period is over, we’ll determine which people were most successful in gaining audience loyalty and ratings then go from there.”

“Basically if I do well, I’ll eventually have my own show,” Alice supplied eagerly, now literally sitting on the edge of her seat.

“Yes, basically,” Mimi nodded, grinning. “Alice,” she murmured, her voice fond and big sisterly again. “Do your best with this. Because after watching you today, I think you and radio just might be the perfect fit.”

“You know what, Mimi?” drawled Alice, matching the grin with a huge one of her own. “I think you might just be right.”


To be continued…