Vignettes of the Heart – 13

Tina rolled over and felt something crinkle under her shoulder. She opened her eyes and read the note Bette had left for her to find: "T — You were sleeping so deeply, I figured you needed the rest. I’ve taken Angelica to picnic on the beach (yes, we took sunblock). We’ll be back before dinner, bearing food. Make yourself comfortable and enjoy the afternoon. Love, Bette"

Tina padded into the hallway, checked Angelica’s room out of habit, and then registered the utter silence of the house. It had been so long since she had spent the afternoon doing nothing, much less doing nothing in this house. It was both strange and completely familiar; rather like putting on a much-loved pair of boots you have not worn for a long time. She wandered from room to room, soaking in the ambiance, remembering… Her tour complete, Tina took a leisurely shower, then toweled off as she decided what to wear. With an unabashedly sentimental smile, she draped herself in one of Bette’s white dress shirts, luxuriating in the feel of the crisp cotton and the faint scent of Bette on the collar. Still at loose ends, Tina poured herself some lemonade and found a comfortable patch of shade in the back garden to sit in.

How many times had she done this in the past? Ever since they bought this house, the back garden had been Tina’s refuge. A place to think, to cry, to read, to simply be alone with herself. It had not changed much in her absence; a few of the flowers were different, some of the plants taller, but still a refuge. Her refuge. Could it really be so again? Could she and Bette make it work this time?

She knew she was willing to do just about anything to make her family whole again. But would she lose herself again in the process? Could she maintain a healthy balance? She thought she could. Could she help Bette find that balance? That was the bigger question right now. It was Bette whose lack of internal balance threatened them the most. Bette would never be truly happy until she felt secure enough in herself and in Tina’s love to relax and stop trying to control them. So there was only one thing to do: make Bette believe in their love. Tina smiled to herself; she could do that.

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"Mom, We’re Home," called Bette as she and Angelica came in the front door. "Mommy," chimed in Angelica. Tina met them in the hallway, "My two favorite girls are back!" "Hello, Baby," she greeted Angelica with a kiss on the cheek. "Hello, Babe," she followed up, giving Bette a quick kiss on the lips. "I was just setting the table in anticipation of the feast you promised to bring home," she continued, as if kissing Bette was something she did every day. Indeed, it was something she hoped to do every day from then on.

"Angelica chose Chinese," proclaimed Bette. "Oh she did, did she?" laughed Tina. "I imagine she was just a little bit influenced by her Mama B." "Well, maybe a little," agreed Bette with a puckish grin. "She didn’t object when I suggested it, at least," she added as she handed over the paper bag containing their dinner. "Ang and I are going to change clothes. Be right back."

Tina set out the containers of takeout and made some baby cereal for Angelica. Hearing a surprising lack of noise from the back, Tina softly made her way down the hallway to Angelica’s room. No Bette, no Angelica. Stepping into the master bedroom, Tina halted at the sight before her. There on the bed, Bette lay on her back and Angelica on top of her, both utterly relaxed and quietly dozing. Tina allowed the sight to fill her eyes, then her heart. She carefully picked Angelica up and took her into her own room. With some tugs and a gentle touch, Tina managed to change Angelica into her pajamas without waking her, then tuck her in with her favorite blankie. Leaving her with a soft, "I love you, Baby," Tina tiptoed out of the room. Now to put Bette to bed.