"You weren’ t enough baby? You weren’ t enough? You were my life! For three decades I was half human until I met you. I tried to give you everything. You deserved nothing less. When we lost our son I knew I had failed you. I couldn’ t bring him back to you. I thought you hated me, that I wasn’ t good enough for you…"

 

"Stop… stop, stop, stop!" Tina yelled and looked straight in Bette’ s eyes "I was with you for seven years Bette. For seven amazing years which I don’ t trade them with anything. I lost my family and all my friends because I fell in love with you! How could you think, even for a second, that there is something you will do that will make me hate you? I love you!"

 

"Well your actions made me think that! You were crying all the time and you shut me out. I couldn’ t reach you no matter what. I lost him too. You wasn’ t alone. I loved him too. He was my son. Seeing you like this it was twice harder for me. I wanted to take your pain away and the only thing I could do was to hide my sorrow and give you my hand. You didn’ t take it. I’ ve tried… I’ ve tried so many times and so hard to reach you! I was desperate! My life was… well wasn’ t my life anymore. We lost our son, troubles with my work at the CAC and the most important to me… you have been pushing me away! I wanted so bad to cry to your arms for all the pain I had inside me and you to cry to my arms. But you weren’ t there for me. Then you started working… more distance between us. And the final strike: Fae Backley. After that I was a mess. I tried to hide it from you and I admit that this was my first mistake. But I thought that you knew me better and that you will come to my rescue. I guess your pain was too much to think of me or my feelings! I was tired of waiting for you to open up after all of my attempts failed. I was tired of all the others who believed that I was strong enough to handle all that mess. For fuck’ s shake, I had just lost my son and I was loosing my wife… my life! Suddenly, I wanted to lose all the little control I had, even for a minute! I wanted so bad someone to take my hand and tell me what to do! I wanted so bad for someone to take the lead! I couldn’ t take it anymore! Now I know that we have to be carefull with the things we wish for because they may come true! And at that moment I met Candence. She show me the interest that you refused for some reason to show. And I let her to lead my life for a moment. For a moment in which I haven’t the tiny control of my life. In other words, I was in quicksand Tina and you couldn’ t see that. That was hurting a lot and then a stranger came and I let her to resque me instead of scream for your help. Is that enough explanation Tina? Is that good enough for you? Because I don’ t have any other fucking explanation!" Bette finished her passionate monologue and then she rememberd something.

 

"Wait here!" She went to the living room, took her mp3 player from her purse and went back to the bedroom after checking Angelica. She was still sleeping peacefully.

 

"I want you to listen something. It’ s one of the songs that can describe how I feel sometimes" She press the play button and gave the gadget to Tina. The lyrics and Bette’ s words made her cry. She wanted to scream.

 

’cause your presence still lingers here

 

There’ s just too much that time cannot erase

 

When you’ d screamed

I’ d fight away all of your fears

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   TBC