Spencer: I didn’t sleep with her and you know deep down inside I didn’t. You know how I feel about you Ashley. I’m in love with you. I want to be with you. I don’t want anyone else. I think you know that. And you know what else I’m starting to think? The problem isn’t me…its you.

I said and she raised her eyebrows, shocked.

Ashley: Me?

I shook my head.

Spencer: Yeah you. Our problem isn’t about Olivia or trust or other people. It’s about you finding reasons to keep us apart. Whether it’s humiliating me in front of half the girls at our school or false accusations of me sleeping with someone else when you know deep down yourself I didn’t, either way you keep finding ways to push me away

Ashley frowned at my statement then spoke up.

Ashley: Spencer that’s ridiculous…

She began and I cut her off.

Spencer: No its not. Its there. You keep pushing me away and you never, ever let me in…Not all the way. You keep yourself at a distance from me because you’re afraid of getting hurt and you know, that’s something I get. I get that. I understand that. But it just solidifies the fact that I’m not the one that’s afraid of commitment…you are.

I said and she looked away from me. I sighed.

Ashley: Spencer-

She began and I cut her off.

Spencer: It’s too late Ashley. You had your chance but instead you chose not to trust me to protect your heart like I said I would. What I don’t understand is why? Have I ever done anything to make you not trust me?

I asked and she stayed silent. We had the full attention of the P.E. classes. They had long stopped playing softball.

Ashley: Spence I…

I shook my head.

Spencer: You know what? That doesn’t matter now. None of it does because I can’t commit to you just to have you pull away.

I said and she stepped closer to me.

Ashley: I won’t Spencer

I smiled weakly.

Spencer: You will because that’s who you are. But like I said that doesn’t matter anymore because you and I…were done. I can’t do it anymore Ashley. It’s too hard and complicated and it hurts way too much. I just can’t.

I said blowing out my breath.

Ashley: Spencer you don’t mean that.

She said and I shook my head positively.

Spencer: I do. I mean it Ashley. You and I want two very different things out of this relationship and if we can’t agree on something as simple as what we want from each other then what do we expect to achieve? Let’s face it…we were doomed from the very beginning.

I said finishing. When I did I heard the whistle signaling the time to change blow. I then began to walk away from Ashley but she grabbed my wrist, stopping me.

Ashley: Spencer please…

She said softly, dropping my arm.

Spencer: Ashley if you love me, you’ll let me go.

Was all I said before I headed off towards the locker rooms. I felt the tears build up and spill over the brim as I went to change. I looked back at Ashley and she was still standing in the same spot I had left her, looking lost. I hated to do this to her, but someone needed to put an end to this. She wasn’t listening to me but I’m pretty sure she heard me loud and clear now. I never wanted it to get this messy and complicated but it did. Maybe us spending time apart is what we needed to put things back in perspective. Of course I don’t know if that’s true but it’s worth a try because if we continued the way we were acting, I’m pretty sure it would be worse than it is now. I didn’t want her to end up hating me or me her because of our inability to reason and share our feelings with each other. So time apart is what I feel we need. Or at least it’s what I want to believe I need.