“I have to go…” she said shutting my door behind her and then she left…for good this time and it killed me. I drank more than I had a few nights before. The drinking had all the answers I needed…none. When I woke up around three in the after noon the next day I went into my kitchen and Aiden was in there

“what are you doing here?” I asked him

“you look like shit” he told me passing me a cup of coffee

“thanks” I replied

“so what happened last night?”

“Brooke came over…” I told him “…to say goodbye”

“look Ashley…” he started “…I know from experience that whatever answers you’re looking for…you’re never going to find them like this, trust me. Now it sucks that she’s dating…but don’t make it worse this way…the darkness doesn’t have any answers Ash.” He told me then he got up “call me later, or maybe go talk to Spencer…she’s been a wreck” he said before walking out of my apartment

I sat there just wondering how much my life had been fucked up the past few months. Brooke didn’t miss me and that killed me inside, but now I didn’t even have Spencer. I opted on going over to Spencer’s work to talk to her and I walked in and she looked surprised to say the least

“okay…no…okay look I have to go” she said hanging up the phone

“I don’t hate you” I told her “I remember the first time I saw you…those blue eyes, the straight hair…it was hard letting you go Spencer…” I told her “…it was hard losing you, and it was hard seeing you again and it’s still really hard…” I admitted to her because she deserved to hear the truth finally

“when I sleep I have this dream that we’re back in that hotel room in LA after prom and you proposed to me…and every single time I say yes” she told me and it nearly broke my heart

“it’s just a dream right…” I told her

“it’s my dream” she told me and I got lost in those eyes as she didn’t take them off of me as she stood there in her skinny jeans with her designer tshirt and her cute little red converses. Then I nodded and turned around for the door but then I stopped