I was completely alone, the only world I’ve ever known was ripped to shreds. I was unsure of what to do. I’ve never been on my own before. The agency picked me up off the street when I was 12 years old and began training me. They molded me into the person they wanted me to be. I was unable to think on my own. Fear started to consume me, something I hadn’t felt since my childhood. I did not feel any emotion, I stopped feeling any emotion the moment I pulled the trigger and killed my first victim. The only thing that was was a certainty was that I was not safe. The police would be looking for me. I took off my hoodie revealing a white wife beater. I needed to go back to my apartment and clean up. I had to leave the country. It was the only chance I had at survival.

When I got there, I realized I was too late. The place had been ransacked. My passports were gone along with most of my weapons and my laptop. I had no way of getting out of the country. I was so helpless. I went into my bathroom knowing the agency had gotten any information they needed, so I was safe here for the time being. And I needed a shower.

I got undressed and climbed in, the warm water hitting my skin. Red blotches appeared, but I didn’t care. By now I was used to pain, I cleaned myself off and went into the bedroom. I drew the curtains, preferring darkness over light. I slumped down onto my bed and switched the tv on. I needed to watch the news. I needed to know what was going on.

Images of Spencer flashed on the screen. She was at the local hospital. She was fine, just shaken up. Guards had her under strict surveillance. I watched as her family walked up the stairs leading to the hospital. Her parents were holding hands while her brothers followed. They looked shaken up. I watched them and wondered what it would be like to have a family.

I shook these thoughts out of my mind. I had no idea what was happening to me. These past two weeks since agreeing to terminate the girl had causedan onslaught of forgotten memories, flash backs that were a blur. My past was a mystery, and I was starting to question myself, starting to question the agency. I have killed 8687 targets. I was only 22 years old, and in 48 hours I was going to be dead.