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A Life I Never Meant Chapter Fifteen
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“Are you going to stand in the doorway the entire time or come in and sit down.” I ask, hoping that she’ll come in and we can talk properly.
“Sorry, I just can’t believe I’m here, you’re here. It’s all wrong. We shouldn’t be talking in these circumstances.”
“Better these circumstances than none at all.” I say, as I watch her sit down in the chair, so close to me I can reach out and touch her.
She doesn’t reply to this and I can sense her uneasiness at being here. Being around me. If I was feeling better then I would get out of bed and take her in my arms, hoping that she would respond in kind. I don’t do this though and decide that it’s better to answer her original question.
“I bought the house next to Bette’s. The guy that I was leasing it from wanted to sell it and with the job that Tina arranged for me at the studio I actually had the money to be able to afford the mortgage.”
“Wow, you bought a house.” she replies, almost wide-eyed with shock.
“Yeah, I know. I guess I just thought it was about time I grew up, at least in some areas of my life anyway.”
“I can only imagine what you’re alluding to.”
“I should have known better to think that I could change.” I say, looking down, not able to meet Carmen’s eye.
“We all have the ability to change. You just have to have the will.”
“And I didn’t”
“No, but maybe I should have known better that to expect you to change.”
“You were the only woman that I’ve ever known that made me want to change.”
“But you still didn’t.”
“No.”
It almost feels like there is nothing left to say. When I had all the reason in the world to change I couldn’t, or more accurately, wouldn’t, and now, more than five years later, that reason is looking back at me, with tears in her eyes. I know all the things that I should say to try and make it right, but nothing seems to measure up to the height of my betrayal.
“I never wanted you to feel like it was something that you had to do. Like you felt compelled, forced even, into making this big public statement that you weren’t ready for.”
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Am I the first? Haven’t read it yet, but I am sure it will be great as always.
Very interesting – maybe Carmen and Shane can find resolution even if Tina and Bette can’t – although I am hoping they do just like Shane. Great chapter.
beautiful talk between shane and carmen. Hope they work it out
wow this talk between shane and carmen was great!
Argh, so good it hurts! Can’t wait for more!
Excellent dialogue. Very substantial chapter. Now on to B & T.
loved the talk between Shane and Carmen. Now i hope that Shane get that second chance and fight to have Carmen back and be happy.
I hope that Bette and Tina can also make it up!!!
great dialogue! can B&T have such mature and meaningful conversation? going by your past stories, your characters are all mature.. waiting to read when B/T meet.. assuming it’s gonna happen.
cool, so maybe there’s hope for all of them, carmen and shane, bette and tina, and even alice
OK..now we need B & T to talk and get their crap together. thanks for the chapter and can’t wait for the next.
yay, bring on the double wedding but not in Whistler, i mean B and T, S and C…they all belong together; and find a love for Alice soon..she so needs someone to love her forever….
Not a Sharmen fan but this was a pretty good chapter. If only Bette and Tina can talk like this instead of having a yelling match. That is, if they actually get to talk.
Okay I have made a final decision and I just don’t want to Tibette reunion. I am more interested in the Sharmen thing. Waiting patiently to hear this heavy duty conversation with Tina and Bette. Post soon!
Perfect! Somehow, I don’t think that if there’s a conversation between Bette and Tina that it will so as smoothly as this!
I hope Bette and Tina talk and I hope they get back together. Is that asking for too much?
another wonderful chapter! i can’t wait to read more! please post asap! =)
Well, maybe this the right time for everyone, Shane and Carmen and Bette and Tina. Maybe they all can get back to the ones they truly love. That would be wonderful. here’s hoping.
So happy to see at least one of the couples have been given a second shot of working their feelings out. I know that this is your story, but I really do miss Bette and Tina being together. They at least need to talk. But it looks like neither of them are ready and both will never have the closure that is needed to really move forward. Oh well thats fucking life.
Hey CG75, I liked this chapter a lot. Having Carmen and Shane finally talk things out was wonderful. Great to see that there is still hope there for a new and improved relationship. Carmen really gets Shane and now realizes why it did work in the past but maybe now a little older and wiser things can blossom as they should have. The insightful moments for how Shane feels about the rest of the gang was perfect. I wanna see how much harder Shane has to work to get Carmen. Can’t wait so pls post soon. Thank you so much. You Loyal (if lurking) Fan.
Wow, great dialogue! Will Tina and Bette get to talk before Tina leaves … hope so…