“She is stubborn and would insist on staying by my side anyway.  Besides, how do you tell your best friend that you love having them spend every minute with you because they are giving you a reason to fight, but you don’t want them to continue staying by your side if you begin losing the fight?”  A few more tears escaped Dana’s eyes as it was becoming more difficult for her to keep her composure.

“Wow!  You are still in love with her.”  Shane smiled with her statement.

“Yeah…”  The word left Dana’s mouth in only a whisper, but Shane heard it loud and clearly.  “Her happiness means everything to me.  Having her stay with me and take care of me is for selfish reasons.  I refuse to risk her happiness for mine and that is what I will be doing if I allow her to stay and take care of me.”

Alice stood in the doorway of Dana’s room as tears filled her eyes.  “Fuck you!”

Dana and Shane both quickly turned their heads towards Alice, both shocked to see her standing there.  Though they didn’t know, Alice only heard the end of the conversation, after Dana whispered ‘yeah’.

“It is not your place to determine my happiness!  And you are doing a shitty job of determining it anyway.”  Alice walked into the room and straight over to Dana, looking her directly in the eye.  “The past few months you have been concerned with my happiness and you have been completely wrong.  Just like you are wrong about me taking care of you.”

“How am I wrong?”

“God Dana!  You just don’t get it.  You still haven’t figured out just how much I blame myself for all of this.”

“Blame yourself…why?”  Dana was confused. 

Shane was about to ask the same question, but Dana beat her to it.  Shane then realized that Alice and Dana had forgotten she was in the room and thought it would be best to just sit back and listen.

“Dana you initially went to Dr. Kelly alone to find out about the lump in your breast.  I was supposed to be your best friend, the person you came to concerned about the lump.  One of the first people you call immediately after you found out the results.  But I was too fucked up on pills to be there for you.  I wasn’t there when you had the surgery like I should have been.  Then things just got worse.  I hated myself for the way I acted and how I treated you.  When you called and said Lara left I swore to myself that I was going to be there for you no matter what like I should have been from the beginning.  You were doing okay and starting to feel better.  You felt bad because I was always around and had no social life.  So to make you happy I decided to go on a date, knowing that a part of you hated even suggesting the idea.”  The tears were streaming down Alice’s cheeks at a steady pace now.  “Reluctantly I went on a date, telling you to call if you had any problems and that I would cancel the date if you wanted me to stay home, but you insisted I went.  I ended the date early because you called feeling horrible.  By the time I got back to you your temperature spiked and I rushed you here.  I stayed vigil at your bedside those first few nights because it was my fault you were here.  If I had cancelled the date to begin with I would have been able to get you to the hospital sooner…or maybe you wouldn’t have gotten sick at all.  After a few days of not leaving this room everyone convinced me to take a walk to I did.  I walked outside around the hospital, watched the sunshine and felt the cool breeze.  When I returned…”  Alice paused to gain a slight bit of composure.  She was crying so hard she was almost hysterical, but she continued anyway.  “They…they were shocking your heart.  You were dead.  You died.  I left and you died!”  Alice couldn’t control herself anymore.