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    How am I supposed to live without you, part 3

    Story written on May 2, 2007 by justloveB+T.
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    1 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 21
    Words: 4926
    Story Shortlink: https://www.assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=65555
    Author Notes:

    A season 4 finalestory as seen through hazel eyes of a particulair blonde. Part 3, the semi-finale.

    10. Because of the ripples of the tide, in a constant movement, like the ripple in my heart you have initiated…

    Ripple… Maybe that was the word for the way the sensations lingered through me, from my heart to my veins, in a neverending wave of emotions… Every time that vicious false feeling of safety, as I thought the intensity of my feelings would finally subsied, even if it was just a little… Only to find out that it was just another build up for a newfound undercurrent, most of the time even stronger then the one before… Everytime I though I had my feelings under control and I could handle this and help her, my heart proofed me wrong… Why, why, why? Why did I betray myself with every word I read? Why!?

     

    The tears were now freely making their way down my cheeks, as I felt the constricting sensation of the lump that had rapidly formed in my throat… I would give anything for one more chance, for one more kiss, for one more glance of those amazing dark eyes…

     

    11. Because you were, are and always will be the only person with the ability to mend my broken heart

    I felt how the muscles around my jaws tightened in a failing attempt to prevent the shivering sob to rage through me… Was it me that had broken her heart? Or hadn’t I even had the capability to do so because she had never truely loved me? And which of those two possibilities was the worst?

     

    A memory invaded my brain with the speed of light, and I felt the desperation again as I had seen her, when I had come to pick up some clothes… Sitting on the bed, looking upto me as if I was the only one who could redeem the agony in her eyes… The jump of my heart as i had spat out the words:

     

    You have broken everything that ment anything to me…

     

    Her soft requist:

     

    Let me fix it…

    The sudden urge to give in, the willpower I had needed to walk away, the heartbreaking scream she had uttered… So much pain, so much hurt, in the way she had called out my name:

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    Comments

    1. OMG!!!!WOW!!!!! I just hope the words that Bette was saying are ment for Tina. Now Bette go and gewt your WOMAN NOW!!!!! I am so loving this story. Thanks PPVS

    3. So, This has been my favorite season 4 spin off that I have Read. I have been so excited to see what else you come up with next! Come on…Tell us how she gets her woman!!! It is fantastic… PPS!!

    5. damn, you’re killing me here, i hope that Bette is standing by the door of the house where Tina is already…end the agony, get them back together

    6. Dearest you… Amazingly beautiful and heartbreaking in the same time… Oh, and if I had any doubt that those texts were for Tina, you certainly shattered them with reason number 16! Although I have to say that I’m starting to know your Tibette mind and more especially heart, and I guess I knew from reason number 1! But the most important part of this story is yet to come… I guess Tina is too busy beating herself up for her mistakes to realise that never in this world Bette Porter would say these words to anybody else than her… I’m so looking forward to the next chapter! Please, end Tina’s agony, how much more can she take?… And by the way J, THANKS SO MUCH for the reference to Montaigne and La Boetie… You couldn’t have found a better use for it!… Perfect! That in itself should have said it all to one blind blonde… Thanks J, and sorry for not writing, it’s coming, so much to tell you…

    10. Dear, dear M… Here I am, sleepless, at the middle of the night, reading such a moving update of you, my favourite author – something with, more than ever, such a deep resonance in my heart and soul… You know, my friend, tomorrow will be painful and cathartic but also emotionally releasing : an other big step in this process of mine… That’s your amazing timing – once more – expressing thoughts and feelings that could have be mine (our sensitivities and minds always seem to walk together, that’s beautiful…) when I need to feel them expressed… That’s why I cannot properly comment this great, great chapter now, for I need tomorrow morning to come and pass before anything else. Just wait and see (well, read !) until my comment, dearest M ! For now, simply these two words from the deepest of my hopelessly romantic heart : THANK YOU. *** Forever your faithful reader, proud and happy to call you a friend – A.

    11. Damn, girl… I’m in a room full of people, so I can’t start crying like a baby, but if I could… damn… I’ve just read the 3 chapters altogether, and let me tell you… You’re good. Every single emotion, I could feel it, and I hope Bette’s getting her ass back to LA and get T back… and COME ON T!! you gotta get your woman back!! PLEASE post soon!!!!

    12. Those words are so painful to my heart. I felt as if I was Tina trying to hold myself in check so that I could help the love of my life. I am not sure how Tina was able to do it. I could feel every heart beat and tear as it rolled down her face. I hope that those words were ment for Tina and that Bette is right around the corner waiting for her.

    13. OMG, can Tina really be so blind not to see that those words are meant for her ?! Isn’t obvious enough ? I mean, hello ??!! Bette wrote ” have always been, are, will always be “. She could never say those words to Jodi, those two don’t have a past together ( and luckily will never have a future either. Not that I hate Jodi or anything ). Besides, I’m sure Tina MUST know that Bette would never be so cruel to her, right ? Indeed, if anyone had any doubts about the identity of the person those lines were meant for, reason N°16 made it cristal clear. Granted Bette has never been the master of the subtle hints either, but Tina must really be lost in a deep sense of guilt and in self-loathing not to pick up on Bette’s blatant messages of love and to think she deserves this. At any rate, I cannot even begin to imagine how excruciating this situation must be for our blind Tina and what she must be going through right now… Poor Tina. And what the “L” is Bette doing on that plane anyway ?… Everybody knows she’s never been in love with Jodi ( well, everybody but Tina that is… ) ! Who is she trying to fool except herself ? In fact, did she really take that flight ? Really, now that I think about it : did she ever get on that plane ?… Come on, Captain, you can tell me, I promise I’ll keep your secret. Do I need to tell you how unbearable the wait for your next update is going to be ? Please just don’t torture us too long. ( Yes, you are that talented ! ). By the way, thank you so much for all the hard work you put into your fanfics.

    14. *Shaking head* Oh come on!!! These words need to be for TIna…NEED!!!! Awww…throw me a bone here my friend!! Great chapter…I just want Bette with Tina! Pretty please if I ask nicely? LOL! Great chapter!

    15. I know these words are for Tina, but God it would have been nice for her to enjoy them. Either way, she gets to enjoy Bette when they finally get back together.

    17. 100000000 constellations mmm? maybe could be enough…;) dear and great writer: you are killing me softly with this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can imagine Tina face everytime she readed anoother reason more… and it’s so heartbreaking! but you are so good my dear dear friend! i love this chapter but you know that i love the way you write it… Thanks so much for this post it’s amazing! big big hug

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