I tried to concentrate on school, but I couldn’t. Bettes life had totally changed and that was all because of me. It was the best for her, but she didn’t see that. Of course she didn’t. I hadn’t expected her to, but it hurt all the same.

Billy had become rather silent. When I passed him, I couldn’t look him in the eye and smile. It would just feel too mean, he had no idea. And Bette… half of the time she wasn’t in class, so I guessed she was somewhere out there doing god knows what. I just hoped it wasn’t drugs or something.

Next History class, I was late. To my surprise I saw Bette at her regular place. I looked around and saw that the seat close to Jared where I had sit the last classes was taken by Jenny, a girl who was crazy for him. I couldn’t care less, the thing was that I had to sit next to Bette and I didn’t feel like it.
I didn’t know what she would blame me for, if she would insult me, if I would be able to handle it. I took a deep breath and took a seat next to Bette.

“So, Tina, where are you coming from?” Mr. Whitman asked me in a friendly tone.

“I had forgotten my books, sir. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, for once.” He blinked his eye, I knew I was a favorite of his and I didn’t really like that. I wanted everyone to be treated in the same way.

I sat down and looked at Bette anxiously, wondering if she would say anything. It felt as if her saying one word would decide on what would happen to us.

She said nothing.

_ _

Bette Porter narrative

I wanted to be angry with Tina, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t easy to make Billy clear there was nothing he could do about it and that nothing was his fault.

Of course he wanted an explanation, and I told him something about feeling that the feeling had turned more into friendship than love and that he deserved a girl who adored and worshipped him and that I couldn’t give him that.

At school, things were horrible. As I had known, the respect was totally gone. Girls were talking behind my back, but I didn’t care. Boys were all on Billy’s side, naturally. Boys stick together in these things, I guess. And the worst thing was that I couldn’t talk to Tina. I just wouldn’t be able to see her as anything else than a lover, I couldn’t be just friends. I stayed away from her.