Alice:

I thought you washed that ***** right out of your hair last Thursday.

Tina:

Me too…

Alice:

So what’s the deal?

Tina:

Well, she has come down off her cross long enough to donate an entire playground to the Center.

Dana:

How sweet…

Alice:

Dana, that’s not sweet. That’s pure evil. She just refuses to be ignored, huh?

Tina:

Exactly! Finally, someone else gets it.

Alice:

Good thing you don’t have any bunnies that she could boil.

(Tina and Alice giggle. Dana looks perplexed.)

Dana:

I don’t get it.

Tina:

Don’t worry about it, Dana.

Alice:

So how are you going to handle this?

Tina:

The same way I’ve gotten through the past month, I suppose. I’ll just pretend that she doesn’t exist.

Alice:

Such self control…I’d have to slap her, or at least trip her once in a while.

Tina:

Hmm…sounds fun, but Oscar has asked me to play nice. He just doesn’t understand.

Alice:

Men…

Tina:

Do you know that he even suggested that I go and thank her for all of her hard work?

Alice:

As if…

Tina:

Yeah, I know. Sure, I’ll just march up to her and say: “thank you for ***** Bette and ruining my life, and for trying to make yourself feel better about it by coming to where I work and sticking your ugly mug in my face everyday for a month.”

Alice:

(chuckling and applauding)

Yes ma’am. That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout!!

Dana:

But, Candace is really pretty.

Alice & Tina:

Shut up, Dana.

(the waiter approaches Tina)

Waiter:

May I interest you in a cocktail or a glass of wine?

Tina:

Ooh, yes…I would like a Tanqueray and tonic…a big one.

Waiter:

Right away.

(door opens and jingles as Shane enters)

Tina:

Yay! Shane is here.

(Shane flashes a sheepish grin as she saunters over to the table)

Shane:

Evening, ladies…

(Shane is looking a bit haggard–her eyes have deep black circles under them and there is an open sore on the corner of her mouth.)

Alice:

(quietly to Shane)