Hey, are you feeling okay?

Shane:

Yeah. Why?

Alice:

Umm, well…you’re looking kinda rough.

Shane:

Thanks, Al.

Alice:

I’m just saying…is everything alright?

Shane:

For *****’s sake, Alice. I’m Fine!!!

(her outburst startles Dana and Tina out of their conversation)

Shane:

Where’s the ***** waiter?

(waiter returns with Tina’s drink)

Waiter:

For you, miss?

Shane:

I’ll have a scotch on the rocks…Oban 30 year if you’ve got it.

Waiter:

Very good.

Alice:

Are you sure you don’t want something stronger?

Shane:

Cute, Al. How are you doing, Tina?

Tina:

I’m okay. It’s been a weird day.

Alice:

She’s stuck with the ***** for another month.

Tina:

It’s more like a week, actually.

Shane:

The *****…oh, Candace…why?

Tina:

She donated a playground to the Center and is installing it.

Shane:

That’s ***** huge, man.

Tina:

I know, it’s a great thing for the kids. It’s just that I know the reason why she’s doing it and it’s really infuriating.

Shane:

What do you mean? What reason?

Alice:

It’s so obvious…she’s trying to make herself feel better about ruining Tina’s life and also trying to make herself look like less of an *****.

Shane:

She’s not the one who ruined your life.

(Alice kicks Shane under the table)

Shane:

*****!! Ow, man…

Tina:

Yes she is. And she’s trying to atone for it, and I’m not buying it.

Shane:

Tina, maybe this isn’t about you.  

Alice:

Okay, Shane…you’ve never been in a real relationship, so you don’t know just how devious women can be.

Shane:

Whatever…

(waiter returns with Shane’s drink)

(she slurps it down in one gulp as the waiter watches in awe)

Shane:

Bring me another one.

Waiter:

Certainly…

Shane:

So, are you guys going to Milk tonight (eying Dana and Alice)?

Dana:

What…together? No…

(laughing nervously)

Alice:

I mean, we may walk in together but we won’t be there together…

(shifting uncomfortably in her seat)

Shane:

What the ***** is wrong with you?

Alice:

What do you mean?

Shane:

Everyone knows that you two are *****.