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    The beginning of a friendship, chpt 46

    Story written on July 2, 2006 by justloveB+T.
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    31 votes, average: 4.32 out of 531 votes, average: 4.32 out of 531 votes, average: 4.32 out of 531 votes, average: 4.32 out of 531 votes, average: 4.32 out of 5 (31 votes, average: 4.32 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 33
    Words: 2911
    Story Shortlink: https://www.assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=61537
    Author Notes:

    The pain of losing someone close to you, might damage you forever… A Bette and Tina beginning

     

    But she was gone allready…

     

    It had take years for the nightmare’s to fade… Once a year they would pop up and I would be out of my rhythm for several weeks…

     

    My heart beated strongly and quickly, but the dizziness wouldn’t leave and when I shyly looked into those hazel eyes before looking away… I  trusted her, more than I had ever trusted another person since the moment my mother had left… She was the one that had conquered my heart. With one look she had crumbled the walls that had been around it for more then 27 years…

    The strange thing was that at the moment I looked away I felt more lost then when I had looked into her hypnotizing eyes, and quickly I returned my gaze to hers

     

    Please don’t leave me…

     

    When I heard myself utter those words, something inside of me snapped… As is the wall that had been around my heart had crumbled and released all those strong emotions it once held prisoner. It felt like a giant wave was overwhelming me, and momentarily I felt like I was drowning… I couldn’t breath…

     

    I’m not going anywhere…

     

    Her words seemed to come from far, very far away, and when she cupped my face and kissed my lips, I felt how my hands clung onto her, and knew at that moment I had to hold onto her in order to survive… My heart was pounding heavily, and the dizzyness I had been feeling earlier hit me with even more force.

     

    Please don’t leave me…

     

    The way she made me feel… The incredible amount of love… The way in which I needed her… The vulnurability, the power of my emotions… It wasn’t that I gave in to her… I didn’t have a choice… Waves of affection, sadness, joy and shivering anxiety were washing over me. And holding onto her tightly I finally felt, for the first time since many years, the despair and agony of that day… When I closed my eyes, I saw my mothers, and the trembling increased… The word was on the tip of my tongue, and I tried to hold it in, knowing that opening up so completely wasn’t something Bette Porter did… At least not the Bette Porter I knew… The always in control woman I had become… At once the tears that were running down my cheeks weren’t solely for the mother I had once lost… But also for the years I had missed, being something I truely wasn’t… Living life halfheartedly… The realisation of that, and the way Tina’s fingers carresed my back… I guess that was the last push…

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    Comments

    2. You better not be apologizing for the shortness of a 5 pager, ’cause then I’m doomed ;-) I’m with rockingirl on ‘Your Body Is a Wonderland’ btw, I love that song… and John Mayer, he’s my ideal man *sigh* Well, thnx for using your precious time to write, now I gotta go stand up, ’cause the back of my thighs are burned. :S Damn you, sun! ;-D

    4. the girls are sooooooooooooooo sweet!!!!!! thanks for the 5 pages your kill me with the stopping when it is getting good you want me dead lol i will say it to make you feel better longer

    7. sooooo glad so see this post, i am in love with how sweet this bette and tina are.please post ASAP. i know i am terrible at posting regularly but that doesn’t mean i can’t ask others to. i really did have a great time in holland and i hope to go over again next month.

    9. Captain you are breaking my heart. I have already filled up one bucket with tears and am now reaching for the second bucket. These two are defintely soulmates and the show needs to get a gribe and fix them. This was so hard to read with Bette falling apart. All the hurt and anxiety of loosing a parent is unbearable for anybody but especially for a child. Tina already feels and understands Bette more than anybody else and Bette has those same feelings and desires towards Tina. Hopefully life will allow you to come back to us not only as an author but as our Tibette Captain.

    10. yes i got a lolipop! how did you know green apple is my favorite?”I would be honored to show you how…If you want me to, I mean…” what kindof question is that bette she wants you so bad. hope you post soon any story :) =) 2 smileys for u.

    11. Lamentamini – u are sharing come on be nice .”You do realize when they actually get there that all of our computers will short circuit and then spontaneously combust, right? I really should back up the hard drive before that happens… ” not only will my computer get fried half the world will be missing cold water because that will definatley be a cold shower alert!!!

    14. Just wonderful. What a chapter! I am still totally in love with your writing. I can’t get enough of it. This chapter was so full of raw emotion and with such tenderness and passion it is breathtaking. Write more when you can – I can’t wait to read it!

    15. Poor Bette. This was wonderful, really emotional. I loved it. Please don’t wait too long to post. (Look whose talking, I know…) Great stuff! *thumbs up!*

    16. Some people thinks that children don’t remember. They just bury it and then dig it up again and again, When someone leaves a child they leave a child with lasten heartache. Poor Bette. 27 yrs of hurting. thanks

    19. Hey Captain Mom! ;) I loved ur chapter. I just finished reading the whole story. Its beautiful. But ure indeed killing us softly. I see a NC-17 coming soon… :P And I hope to talk to u soon. Take care, dear.

    23. I want IC to put this chapter on the screen – this is so wonderful how you are showing their beginning and the vulnerability they both came into the relationship with. I love your writing and your going back and forth between their inner worlds as they try to open up to one another and to see what gets shared and what doesn’t – helps explains the gaps that exist even as we get close to another – have I said it before AWESOME!!

    27. Poor Bette! Glad she’s finally able to open up to Tina about her past and why she was so upset. I’m sure Tina will gladly accept those lessons from Bette when she’s ready (who wouldn’t?).

    28. I’m not sharing lollipops with anyone! MWAHAHA! You do realize when they actually get there that all of our computers will short circuit and then spontaneously combust, right? I really should back up the hard drive before that happens…

    29. I remember when you use the Westlife’s song when Bette thought about Tina as taken and straight and during your last chapters I wanted you to use Your body is wonderland when they finally do it but you’re prolonguing it!! I loved this soft side of Bette, I think (or maybe I haven’t read) I ever read about Maxine’s leaving and how Bette suffered and let me tell you, I loved how you described it.

    31. Oh come on… no more IF! Just show her, Porter. lol… sound like NC17 is getting closer AGAIN. *doing little happy dance*, please continue soooon :)

    32. hey justy, im still here reading all your fic, keep them coming!!! cause they rock!!!! but yet you still like killing us softly, i suppose ill have to put up with it.

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