Fan Fiction
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The Newly Discovered SoCal Humminger Bette Porterius ~ Chapter 7
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“We wouldn’t have missed it, even with the $600 babysitting fees and the remodeling costs.”
“What!”
“Well the sitter has a system of surcharges for extraordinary events. It’s a sliding scale. You know, $15 per step in pet poo, $25 per kid barf, $150 per emergency room visit, all the way up to $750 for accidental death and dismemberment. And then there’s the carpet. Not all of it was scorched but it didn’t make sense to replace only part. The color would never match and you know how picky we artists can be about color.”
“Your carpet was on fire?”
Susannah couldn’t maintain her serious demeanor. She burst into laughter and choked out “Bette, one of my favorite things about you is how teasible you are. You just make it so easy that it is impossible to resist.”
“Here is where I pretend to be a good sport.”
“That’s right. I make a fool out of you and you pretend that you think it is funny.”
“The rug on fire! I can’t believe that I fell for that. . You are good, Susannah. Really good.”
“Ramp up the sincerity.”
“I will practice for our next call.”
“When are you coming for dinner?”
Bette had successfully avoided ever going to Susannah’s house after the first visit. Once had been enough and she preferred to banish the image of her supremely gifted sculptor friend playing mommy in the suburbs. “Some day, soon, I promise. The gallery’s new, though, and it needs a lot of my attention just now. But soon.”
“You haven’t seen a T-Ball game.”
“T-Ball?”
“Jasper’s on a team. It’s sort of pre-Little League. No scoring, no competition.”
“Isn’t competition the point of sports?”
“Not T-Ball.”
“It sounds collectivist. Do the Orange County Republicans know that the suburbs are filled with anarchistic relativistic collectivists, undermining good old American sportsmanship.”
“They don’t and you can’t tell them.”
“You can send me a picture of Jasper in his uniform.”
“They don’t have uniforms.”
“Of course they don’t.”
“Bette, someday when you have your own kids, I will remind you of all of these conversations.”
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I love this fic. I love this fic. Bette’s world seems 3-D. The characters are realistic. I love this fic.
Thanks so much for posting even with hurt wrists. Loved Susannah and Browyn, their teasing was fun. Take care and post when you can.
Spumoni, your writing always amazes me. I loved the banter between Susannah and Bette…how witty was that reparte!!!! You write drama and humour equally well and I can’t wait for your next update.
Hi, dear sweet Spumoni! Ah, another brilliant chapter, full of laughter and other details. You are doing a terrific job at postponing B&T’s next encounter. The pacing is perfect. We believe the story has great potential. Thanks for sharing. PPS Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks.- Lu & Marsh (Proud Salsa Aunties to the loving JC, Eunichick, ZLFAN, T_Daze, Melrose231 and Tias Adoradas to Patpez)
Susannah sees possibilities in Bette that Bette herself can’t. Bronwyn on the other hand, should be reminded about making assumptions. Her gaydar sucks.
No, not for Eric, but for the ultra gorgeous gallery owner, Bette Porter.
Bronwyn AND Susannah, what a treat! I wished they had had friends that did things other than hang out at the Planet all day waiting for them to drop by, and my wish was fully realized in FF, especially in your fics. Which reminds me, I was rereading some of these today (literally), and I think that I had skipped some last time I went through the Spumogan catalog because I hadn’t read your amazing Buddha story (is that finished somewhere?), and I had read part of the Halloween tale but not the whole thing. Anyway, I loved this post and your dedication to the story as shown by your willingness to post with your hurt wrist. Thank you!!!
Sorry you hurt your wrists. :( Maybe time to give up boxing. Kidding. I really like how succint and conversational both Bette/Tina’s parallel universe’s run. You show the real sides of them with people who care about them. Very clever and sweet. OMG…an OC Republican joke (but oh, so true…as a So Cal gal, I laughed so hard, I spilled my drink.). Hugs to you Spumoni…I so love your stories! Thanks for sharing…now go take care of those wrists…RICE (rest-ice-compression and elevation)…of course a couple of Aleve is good too!
Even in pain and Velcro, you triumph with a chapter of perfection. Thanks!
like what u r doing here. catch u next time. nite nite-its freezing here.
My thumbs, they are up. I love the interactions with Bette and Tina’s respective friends, and there’s nary a scrap of evidence to support what you say about plodding. Just fine plotting. Sorry about your wrists. Rehabilitate, but still, post when you can, please. Thanks, Spumoni. :)
i love how this story’s going. and i really love how you write. i just wish i get to read a chapter or two everyday.
Love Susannah,and i echo the sentiments of whoever said it’s so nice to see them have friends beyond the walls of the Planet! snorted at Bette’s observations on ‘slender volumes of poetry’ keep pecking.
Thanks for the update. I love the banter that Bette and Tina have with their respective friends….adorable.
i wish i had friends like they do LOL sounds like Bette is all hummed up about Tina ;) PPS
Thank you for posting. Am so liking this story and the slow plod plod plod…what a build-up. Thank you again for this story :)
Love your stories,but I do believe you know my favorite one. When I get back from my little mini trip to Austin,Tx. Have a story to tell that is so funny. thanks
LOVING this story… Sorry about the wrists… Just remember we all love you :)