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    AbsoLutely FabuLous: What Would Anna Wintour Do?

    Story written on May 6, 2007 by sofa/hb.
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    29 votes, average: 2.69 out of 529 votes, average: 2.69 out of 529 votes, average: 2.69 out of 529 votes, average: 2.69 out of 529 votes, average: 2.69 out of 5 (29 votes, average: 2.69 out of 5)
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    Genre(s):
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    Character(s): , ,
    Number of Comments: 13
    Words: 4105
    Story Shortlink: https://www.assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=65610
    Author Notes:

    Bette and Tina plan charity events, Alice stays drunk, Shane mumbles, Dana breaks balls, and good stuff happens with Helena.

     

    “Shut up! I’m going now, all right! And when I get home, there had better be some groceries in that fridge! You two have not pulled your weight around here. I’m always the one cleaning and cooking and buying food. And you have your bloody fashion show to worry about, you should be at work!”

     

    “Well which is it, Dana? Do the groceries or go to work? Work, clean, get up, go to bed! I feel like this is the bloody marine corps. Hup one, hup two, down for twenty pushups darling!” Alice flopped onto the floor, doing a half hearted pushup. Shane helped her to her feet again, nodding vigorously as Alice spoke. “And anyway, darling, why don’t we just hire someone to do all those…all those…”

     

    “Those other things.” Shane tried to help.

     

    “Yeah!” Alice reached for the cigarette behind Shane’s ear, lighting it for herself and blowing the smoke directly into Dana’s face.

     

    “Oh…Al!” Dana sputtered, waving her hands around and coughing. “Just go, all right?” She turned around and walked back to her room, ignoring Alice’s mournful look.

     

    Alice and Shane called their driver who arrived within minutes. Shane found two small bottles of vodka in her jacket and gave one to Alice. “Cheers.” Shane said, clinking their drinks together. Halfway to work, they had to stop off at a liquor store for more.

     

    An hour later, Alice and Shane stumbled into the office. Shane tripped over a chair and fell onto the ground, laughing as Alice tried to help her up.

     

    Jenny looked over, curiously, and pursed her lips at them. “I’m sorry.” She said, “We don’t let homeless people sleep here.”

     

    Alice looked up at her. “Whaaaaaa?” She exclaimed. “Jenny, you stupid woman, it’s us! Now come and help Shaney up, or else you’re fired—bloody cut off, do you hear me?”

     

    “Cut off at the knees.” Shane mumbled from the ground as Jenny rushed to help her.

     

    Alice and Shane straightened their clothes and hair before making their way toward Bette’s office.

     

    “I wouldn’t go in there…” Jenny shouted, pointing at their backs. Alice actually heard her in time, for once, and stopped herself.

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    Comments

    1. Wow, all that booze left me feeling headachey and dehydrated. Or maybe it’s the flu I’ve had all week. Here’s hoping that the fictional models of this story are better looking in person than the one’s I used to be around when I worked at a photo studio and then a model agency. What can I tell you, camera magic and skilled retouching. For EVERYBODY. Not always the sharpest tacks, either.

    2. LOL, you’re a F**’ing crackup. I know, retouching is key…I only know this from how film affects how a person looks though. Much prettier in lots of ways! As for the sharpest tacks…now now, let’s not be catty;)

    8. im lovin this story very funny and cool..hey are yous gonna get alice and dana to get together?? that would be awesome is it just me or do i sense someting there lol nice writing neways :)

    9. hehe … I never got the chance to comment before (damn icelandic computers in arabic .. hehe) um so .. hehe, i love the bette/helena tease, *so* your arena, now i get left b and t and a hotel room, hmn… what to do with such a thing, Dana and Alice are a hoot .. hehe, loving the Ab Fabness and yours and funnyone’s comments are a hoot too ;)

    10. Love it. Two of my fave shows combined. Im in hospital at the moment and laughed so hard 2 nurses came running cos they thought i was dying or something. Please keep going

    11. i’m sorry, i don’t know when this comment section became my personal posting area, but i’m going to continue because it’s been fun to do so:lovintina, that’s touching. for serious, i love that i helped you to worry the nurses.funnyone…it has been extensively covered on the boards, this blushing habit of mine and how i’m actually a very SHY womaniz…errrr…woman. ‘n stuff. and i don’t mind your typos. they’re usually amusing. sometimes they’re boring. sometimes tepid. sometimes a revelation…

    12. I absolutely love this story, I like how you make fun of the “celebrities” and the “””love rectangle””” between Henry x Tina x Bette x Helena is great!!!… Thanks

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