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    AbsoLutely FabuLous: What Would Anna Wintour Do?

    Story written on May 6, 2007 by sofa/hb.
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    29 votes, average: 2.69 out of 529 votes, average: 2.69 out of 529 votes, average: 2.69 out of 529 votes, average: 2.69 out of 529 votes, average: 2.69 out of 5 (29 votes, average: 2.69 out of 5)
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    Genre(s):
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    Character(s): , ,
    Number of Comments: 13
    Words: 4105
    Story Shortlink: https://www.assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=65610
    Author Notes:

    Bette and Tina plan charity events, Alice stays drunk, Shane mumbles, Dana breaks balls, and good stuff happens with Helena.

     

    “How much longer?” She asked. Shane stumbled over to Jenny’s desk, perched herself there, and tried to flip through a magazine.

     

    “Maybe a few more minutes. You know…” Jenny leaned closer. “This is the second time for that one…”

     

    “Really?” Alice said, making a hmmph sort of sound. “Is it that model, from yesterday?”

     

    Jenny nodded and shrugged.

     

    “Skinny beatch…legs up to her chin…” Alice mumbled to herself. She wasn’t sure who made her more jealous. Bette or the mysterious model.

     

    The door opened suddenly, and the flushed and out of breath brunette walked out. Behind her, Bette looked strangely after Helena as she did her shirt up and straightened her skirt. Helena smirked at the others as she left.

     

    “Well! All right then!” Alice’s voice dripped with sarcasm as she walked in.

     

    “You! Out!” Bette pointed at her, telling her to leave.

     

    “What? What did I do?” Alice shouted.

     

    “Not you! You!” Bette gestured wildly to Shane.

     

    “Shaney? What? Leave her alone, she didn’t do anything!” Alice looked behind her. Shane lit a cigarette, nodded to Bette, and walked out. Alice thought she heard Shane mumble something about lunch.

     

    “Right then, you, in here, now!” Bette picked up her ear piece and put it back in. “We have a problem with the models. Two overdoses, an eating disorder clinic in Beverly Hills and a Hollywood twat who wants in. I say fuck it, ignore it, and absolutely not!”

     

    “Sounds fantastic darling.” Alice was unconcerned.  She sat down, grabbing one of the bottles of champagne next to her.   

     

    “No, no, Alice, it is not fantastic! It is the opposite of fantastic! We are fucked, do you understand me? Look, tonite is that fucking dinner for that fucking wanker from the fucking British Fashion Council. I want you there, with me, and I want you to take fucking notes and work the fucking room. I want new, fresh, and preferably alive. Do you fucking hear me Alice?”

     

    Alice had dozed off, her bottle of bubbly spilling onto her lap. “Huh? Oh, shit, the champagne…” She wiped herself, startled suddenly when Bette threw a magazine at her. “Ow? What? Yes, I hear you, you want new, you want them alive, and you want something fresh and…and…new..and gorgeous?”

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    Comments

    1. Wow, all that booze left me feeling headachey and dehydrated. Or maybe it’s the flu I’ve had all week. Here’s hoping that the fictional models of this story are better looking in person than the one’s I used to be around when I worked at a photo studio and then a model agency. What can I tell you, camera magic and skilled retouching. For EVERYBODY. Not always the sharpest tacks, either.

    2. LOL, you’re a F**’ing crackup. I know, retouching is key…I only know this from how film affects how a person looks though. Much prettier in lots of ways! As for the sharpest tacks…now now, let’s not be catty;)

    8. im lovin this story very funny and cool..hey are yous gonna get alice and dana to get together?? that would be awesome is it just me or do i sense someting there lol nice writing neways :)

    9. hehe … I never got the chance to comment before (damn icelandic computers in arabic .. hehe) um so .. hehe, i love the bette/helena tease, *so* your arena, now i get left b and t and a hotel room, hmn… what to do with such a thing, Dana and Alice are a hoot .. hehe, loving the Ab Fabness and yours and funnyone’s comments are a hoot too ;)

    10. Love it. Two of my fave shows combined. Im in hospital at the moment and laughed so hard 2 nurses came running cos they thought i was dying or something. Please keep going

    11. i’m sorry, i don’t know when this comment section became my personal posting area, but i’m going to continue because it’s been fun to do so:lovintina, that’s touching. for serious, i love that i helped you to worry the nurses.funnyone…it has been extensively covered on the boards, this blushing habit of mine and how i’m actually a very SHY womaniz…errrr…woman. ‘n stuff. and i don’t mind your typos. they’re usually amusing. sometimes they’re boring. sometimes tepid. sometimes a revelation…

    12. I absolutely love this story, I like how you make fun of the “celebrities” and the “””love rectangle””” between Henry x Tina x Bette x Helena is great!!!… Thanks

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