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The Laws of Attraction: Part Eighteen
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“Today will not be a repeat of yesterday. You understand, Howie?” said Dana in what was probably meant to be stern tones. The problem with tones, even stern ones, is they can only be effective if heard.
And Howie, along with Alice, was simply not hearing Dana’s tones, stern or otherwise at the moment. No, they were both too busy playing with Marshmallow Kitty and discussing in depth his constant state of absolute poofiness.
“I didn’t know a cat could have more fur than Mr. P,” Howie marveled, dangling a shoe string he had pulled out of one of the dozens of free shoes Dana had gotten from Fila at the kitten. Being the easy going creature that he was, Marshmallow Kitty followed the string with his eyes only batting at it occasionally. “Where did you guys get him?”
“Humane Society, they had a kitten adoption special,” said Alice, flicking the shoe string so it hit Marshmallow Kitty on his nose. At this, he squinted his eyes and released a rumbling purr before batting rather lethargically at the string. Laughing happily, Alice peered up at a grinning Howie. “Isn’t he the mellowest thing ever?” She reached down to scratch the kitten behind his ears who pressed his head into her touch. “You’re the king kitty of mellow, Poofy.”
A clearing of a throat reminiscent to the sound made by the leader of the Lesbians In Media panel caused Alice and Howie stop in their fun to look up at Dana who now had a stern expression on her face to match the tones that they didn’t hear. “Pay attention,” commanded Dana, pointing the spatula at them before shoveling scrambled eggs onto both of their plates. “You’re staying with me and Alice for the entire day, Howie. You got that?” In a moment of simultaneous protest, Alice and Howie opened their mouths and Dana pointed the spatula at them again. “No arguments,” she declared, turning on her heel and walking into the kitchen to retrieve the rest of their breakfast.
“She’s acting like Mom again,” grumbled Howie as he poked at the scrambled eggs with his fork. “I hate it when she acts like Mom. It’s both creepy and lame of her.”
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Sorry you had to repost because of all that editing stuff. Such a bummer. But this chapter is so freaking good. Seriously. The comedy was pricless: Fabulous Howie, the pancake breakfast burrito, Tonya’s surname and the angst was just so…dead-on. I love Gabby.
I can’t wait to see what happens next i do hope that alie sees dana before she does angthing silly with gabby because she is so bad for alice and alice alway ends up hurt please post soon
I so badly wanna see the whole “Be a Man” revue on film. That’s priceless comedy right there. Good work.
“And to be frank, you wouldn’t like Tonya when she was angry. You wouldn’t like her at all.” ROFLMAO…you are sooo talented!
I love this, really, I can’t wait for the next chapter.
hey drieser, i haven’t commented in awhile (my old username was danielle), and just thought i’d jump back in. firstly, i have to tell you that i am loving the way that you are writing howie… is he not the cutest kid brother or what?! i enjoyed that last chapter and how he over hears dana and alice having sex and complains about being corrupted.
and this time, him being all upset with her fans, lol. the mulan thing with ed was hilarious… where do you come up with these crazy scenarios?! i can’t believed that you brought the wonderful world of disney to Pride, lmao.
anyway, i am feeling alice’s pain right now, but i hope she does not let herself fall into the evil clutches of gabby deveaux.
i hope she and dane work it out and end up having some more great sex… and just for shits and giggles, howie should overhear them again.
but wait a minute?! when the heck is howie going to come out to her? i’ll be waiting…
oh and i almost forgot… when you busted out that SNL sketch with sean connery and alex trebbeck i nearly pissed myself… i cannot tell you how much laughter those sketches bring me, i love them.
ok, i have prattled on enough now, love your writing.. Do Go On!!!!
Thought you had posted early for a moment. Didn’t have a chance to comment on this chapter first time round though, so let me say: Alice and Howie, “Don’t you think you could use the practice saying the words” – I loved this scene, funny and tender; the breakfast burrito, and Dana’s reaction, made me laugh (once I googled Fruit Loops to find out what they were); and the ripping guitar solo, let’s just say the image distracted me from my work for quite a while. I know the angst must be coming, but looking forward to the next chapter.
Lovely once again. You really left it hanging there with the end. Trying to torture the Danishers, eh? I suppose it is for the best though. Wouldn’t be a good story with Gabby inflicting a little drama. Can’t wait for the update.